January 26, 2004

Rapture Ready

You ready for the rapture? I know, I know. You are constantly looking at your watch, and at the signs in the news that the righteous will suddenly be borne up into the heavens. Have you noticed the following trend in top news stories?

  1. Unrest in the Middle East
  2. Global terrorism
  3. The European Union's political merger
  4. Nation ID initiatives
  5. Apostasy in the Church
  6. Ecumenicalism
  7. Contagious diseases
  8. Natural disasters
  9. Unusual weather events
  10. Russia's Iraq's China's growing economic and military might
Of course you have. And so Rapture Ready is the website for you. Deborah Harry would approve!

Not only will it prepare the chosen folks (how y'all doing out there?) but for those of us left behind there's even a post-rapture survival guide. Helpful advice such as "Above all, do not accept the mark of the beast on your right hand or forehead." will keep us safe.

So, I goof on you rapture folks every now and again. Truth is, I am a teeny bit envious of a system of belief that has such a movie-friendly sci-fi story built in. Just a teensy, weensy bit. Of course, there are alternatives. Xenu (Xemu?) and the body Thetans of Scientology leap to mind.

I kid because I love. Kinda.

I remember when I was a wee lad, I had a friend who was one of the sort who believe in the Rapture. I was raised Catholic, so his stories of being lifted up to Heaven were news to me. I don't recall believing him, but they were fun to listen to. I have fond memories of Shawn, wide-eyed, telling me what he knew of the end of the world. But then I would always recall somethign my Dad said once about a really bad storm that seemed to his friends out camping like it was going to be the end of the world. He was willing to take bets that it wasn't.

The point is, where do you apply practical reasoning to your beliefs? This rapture stuff is really unnecessary to support what Christians believe. Most of the "good stuff" doesn't need the window-dressing. Love thy neighbor, don't kill, honor your father and mother... it's nearly all an easy sell. Why muddy it up with the theatrics?

Don't folks feel silly turning their beliefs into fodder for the sci-fi channel? (BTW - don't get me started on John Edwards of "Crossing Over")

I'm wondering for real here - this isn't a rhetorical question. Why do people go for the fancy mythological religion over, say, Catholicism which seems to keep a lid on most of its apocalypse?

Posted by James at January 26, 2004 1:16 PM
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Imagine how peaceful things will be after The Rapture. I can't wait. Blowhards everywhere rising into the stratosphere...

Posted by: Mike at January 26, 2004 3:15 PM

Considering all the actually righteous people, perhaps it's already happened and no one noticed.

Posted by: James at January 26, 2004 3:26 PM

There's just one thing about the rapture: clothing is not included. That means that the rest of us are going to need to know when to cover our eyes if we don't want to be horrified by the sight of self-righteous naked people floating through the air.

Posted by: julie at January 26, 2004 4:32 PM

And in the ultimate irony, once the chosen all reach orbit Earth becomes Heaven. Prophecy fulfilled, kinda.

Posted by: Mike at January 27, 2004 12:03 PM

That's just what I was thinking. :)

Posted by: James at January 27, 2004 12:15 PM

Nothing is more satisfying to me in this lifetime than knowing as believers in Jesus the Christ, that at the point of the rapture, my beautiful wife, three wonderful kids and I will become "like Him" as we stand before Him as a family... WOW!

Posted by: Bill Bartelson at February 15, 2004 12:56 PM

Thanks, Bill. I'm glad you're happy about it. But it just doesn't make sense to anyone who has jumped that chasm into belief. To us, it's just kinda funny.

Posted by: James at February 15, 2004 2:00 PM

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