I don’t have much energy to blog today, but I feel the need to record this remarkable night (remarkably bad). Last night was one of the worst in my life. The moment when I realized I couldn’t help Mattie anymore was definitely the nadir. It was a difficult moment as a parent.
Maggie and Mattie had both succumbed to the effects of a violent (is there any other kind?) throw-up bug by dinner time. My throat was sore, I was warm and dizzy but I figured they had something different so I tried to take care of Katherine and read to Maggie and Mattie between their bouts. We were all huddled near the bathroom.
As the hours went by, I was increasingly dizzy, but still functional. By Katherine’s bedtime (to which she willingly went) Maggie was barely moving. Mattie seemed to have some energy. But at about 10:30PM, Maggie suggested I call the doctor on call for Mattie, who we feared must be close to her limit. (She has a number of upsetting symptoms)
The nurse suggested I wait a half hour and then bring her in if she hadn’t stopped. I waited, and then it became obvious she wasn’t stopping. But she was slowing down. I took a shower, and noticed my dizziness was affecting my balance. By the time I was dressed, I felt awful. I got Mattie dressed, began to get the car ready, and realized I couldn’t go anywhere. It was only a matter of time for me. I lay next to Mattie, wondering if I was even going to be able to check up on her when it got bad. I imagined the drive to Providence, the possibility I wouldn’t be able to be with her in the waiting room as I got sick. I felt useless as the nausea marched on.
At midnight, I called my parents. I probably should have thought twice about exposing them, but that’s how desperate I was. And I knew they would come. I needed lucid adults in the house. I quickly found Matite’s insurance card and wrote a note detailing her meds and giving them permission to seek medical attention in my stead.
When my parents arrived I could barely stand up straight. Mattie had stopped vomiting I left it to them to take her in if she didn’t stop or at least keep an eye on her. Defeated, I crawled upstairs to begin my own odyssey, which I will not detail other that to say it was a long and painful night with little sleep.
My father, now exposed, caught the bug. Mattie got rest and improved under my mother’s care. They left sometime after the sun came up, while I was incapacitated. I remember my Mom covering me with a blanket before I passed out on the floor, riding another wave.
Now, we are all mobile for the most part. I’m feverish and dizzy and still dehydrated. I’ve lost 4 lbs and, like Maggie, my ring comes off very easily.
I thank my parents for being there when I couldn’t help Mattie. And I guess getting them on the job as my last lucid moment counts as doing my duty as a parent. But I still feel lousy (physically and emotionally).
I have to go get some sleep and fluids nowPosted by James at March 9, 2004 12:49 PM