Sometimes to get a bargain, you have to be willing to run, and be a little persistent. And a little crazy. This is a story of our Wednesday night consumer adventure.
The Family
I haven’t told you about my family. They’re bargain maniacs. And among my extended family, my cousin Bob is an expert at getting assembling new computers out of good old equipment, reselling, reinvesting money in new equipment. In other words, he can create computer value, and he knows how best to leverage technology dollars for whatever given purpose. And he has his ear to the ground for bargains.
Bob’s Dream
He has had a dream to create a “LAN party” setup at his house — a bunch of machines with fast processors and graphics cards that will run the latest games so that we can compete with each other over a network and go nuts. He’s made money here and there buying and selling computer systems, trying to cobble together some pretty nice machines that will run smooth and fast. He’d recently come close to achieving this dream with some dual processor machines he’d put together, but though they were fast processors, they didn’t allow the graphics cards to run at their full potential.
But by selling those machines to people who needed the processor power, plan is finally culminating now in the purchase of 3 Compaq systems that will all take fast graphics cards through their 8X AGP ports and run games at high speed. Impressive speed well over what is needed to play the latest games, like Half Life 2.
When he told me how much he paid for those machines, I thought “Hey - for that money, I could process digital video a lot faster and I’d have the option to play the newest video games.” Also, with his help and some equipment, I’d be able to build my daughters a system, and Maggie could use my old machine for some processor-intensive stuff that it is still good for even though it’s pushing 4 years (this Dell Dimension has been solid as a rock all the years I’ve owned it).
How much would I be spending in this plan? All I had to do was buy 1 computer from Staples (the same one he’d already bought 3 of and had working in his office). I had to shell out $250 for a computer that Buy.com has online for over $500.
Scratch that. There is a fifty dollar rebate. The final out of pocket cost is going to be two hundred dollars. $200! As I did with my Dell Dimension, I may upgrade this when I find amazing deals on memory and other components, but $200 is a low price to pay for a $500 computer that’s going to give me performance nearly indistinguishable from a 10x more expensive computer once I add couple of upgrades I have on hand. Video card, 200GB Ultra HD, etc, etc.
Finding The Deal
The deal was so good, we found that the Staples in the area had sold out, and the sale was over at the end of the week. Bob had already purchased 3 and his cousin Ramsey had bought the last one at a Staples which, earlier in the day, had had a whole pallet-full.
What to do? When Don arrived we had just determined that a Staples under 20 miles away had a few of the systems left. Problem: I wasn’t going to be anywhere near that Staples tomorrow, and judging by how these systems were disappearing, they weren’t going to be around for long.
Don noted that the Staples wasn’t too far away, but they closed in just over 18 minutes. No way we could make it.
Bob had the computer department kid on the phone and tried to convince the kid to hang on there for a few extras minutes. He seemed to go for the idea at first, but then wavered. We decided to hop in the car anyway.
Road Trip!
Bob hopped behind the wheel of his Mitsubishi Evolution, I took shotgun and Don dove into the back seat. As he fired up the engine, Bob also dialed the store on his mobile phone just to let them know we were on our way. As we left the driveway, the clock warned us that there was not much time at all to get there. As we did not know the exact distance, we didn’t know how close a call it would be. However, we did have the Evo on our side, which, I am told, can bend space-time.
Bob handed me the phone, as he was ready to drive and I spoke to the woman who answered.
“Hello - we talked to a guy in ‘computers’ earlier and he said he’d hold a machine for us tonight. We’re going to come for it now, will you let us in when we get there.”
“We close at 9, sir,” she responded. “The doors will be locked at that time.”
I thought I was talking to the girl we had contacted earlier, so I asked “Can I speak to the guy in ‘computers,’ please? We were talking to him before.”
“I’m sorry, sir,. I’m the manager, and I’m the one who locks the store up. We have to close it at 9 by law. The lights are on a timer and they automatically turn off.”
Wha? I thought. If the lights turn off at 9, how do they clean up the place and do what they need to do when they lock the customers out. I figured I was getting nowhere, so I said “Thanks.” and hung up.
“I was getting nowhere with her.” I told my two companions. We figured at that point we just needed to get there before 9. Bob had it figured that we might get there just at 9 if we fold space-time.
So Close
Moments later, we were nearing the exit for Staples, and I called the manager back to try to get her to change her mind.
“Hi - it’s me again. We’re very close. Could you possibly consider letting us in so we could buy this computer?”
“The doors are locked. The lights are already dimming.” she said. I repeated that to Bob and Don and got looks that said to me “Yeah, right.”
“Tell her we’re right at the exit,” Bob said.
“We’re just about to take the exit. We’ll be right outside the store soon. Won’t you let us in?”
“No, I can’t let you in. We have to close registers. I have to be out of here by 9:30. The lights are on a timer.”
“But we’re going to be there in just a couple of minutes, we’re off the highway now.”
“We have to do things that we can’t do if there are customers in here.” That, I believed.
“Haven’t you ever done this for anyone?” I said in my most pathetic voice.
“No, we’ve never let anyone in, ever.”
“Not ever? Really?” Now I was just stalling.
“No, never.”
“If you see us in front of the store, you won’t let us in?”
“Sir, I can’t let you in.”
At this point, I figured the conversation was over. I was not getting anywhere. “You’re really not going to let us in?”
I don’t think she could believe I wasn’t taking the hint. “No.”
I thanked her again and hung up the phone. Coincidentally, the car was also running out of gas and we weren’t sure whether, once we made it to Staples, we’d be able to make it to a gas station. But once Bob sets his mind to a problem, he follows through. We did not divert course to find gas, we rolled into the Staples parking lot at 9:03 PM. We were at the door at 9:05.
Peekaboo
We could not only see the manager and the employees in there, but there were also customers still in the store (naturally).
This time, Bob called her back. He continued the previous conversation, and she continued to say she wouldn’t unlock the door.
“Look, I’m right behind you. I’m looking right at you!”
She turned around and saw Bob, hung up the phone and shrugged. Bob pointed to the people at the checkout and spoke to the window, exaggerating his words so she could read his lips “You still have customers in the store! You can let us in.”
Verification
Eventually, she had to come to unlock the door to let the other customers out. And we were there. One of the customers said to us “We just made it here at five of nine.” I’m not sure why he thought we’d be interested, but kudos for him!
“We already khow what computer we want,” Bob put to the manager again. “Just give it to him, run his card and we can be out of here. The kid in computers told us he’d let us in if we got here five minutes past 9. We were here at 9:05. I’ll wait in the car so you only have one guy in there.”
“He did? I’ll have to verify that,” She said. She locked the door and wandered off. It was cold.
“Did he say that?” I asked. Bob and I were both cold. Bob shrugged. “Yeah, he said he’s be here a few minutes after closing.” Actually, he did say something like that. Before he waivered. He probably thought “Yeah, we’ll be here… oh, wait a minute… who is managing tonight? Never mind.”
We’d sent Don back to the car so that if we sent him back tomorrow to pick up the machine, they wouldn’t hold it against him. I’m not positive, but I think Don had told us various things like “You’re nuts”, “They’re going to call the cops”, “They’re going to be really happy to do business with you now if you have to come back tomorrow” and the seemingly prescient (at the time) “She’s not going to let you in.” Bob and I joked that if he did come the next morning, they’d recognize him and beat him with sticks once they got him in the store.
We were hopping around to keep warm in the wet, cold air. A woman drove past in a nice car and asked if they were still open. “No,” Bob replied. “And they seem to be really strict about that.”
Resolution
The manager appeared at the doors again looking deflated. She said, “You want to $200 computer?”
“Yes!” we said.
“OK, come on. This is a really bad thing I’m doing.”
“No,” I said. “It’s a really excellent thing.”
They fetched me the computer as I waited at the counter. I paid for the thing and exited the store with my prize, laughing like an idiot. We joked that we ought to get up early and be here before opening and try to convince them to open the store early for us. Hee! Bob asked for directions to the nearest gas station.
To celebrate, we bought every flavor of Haagen Daas that Stop & Shop had, returned to Bob’s house and played pitch. Now I have a bunch of computer equipment at my house I have to figure out how to redistribute. But I think it’s going to be fun, and I’ll laugh every time I think of the night we stormed the gates of Staples to pay $200 for a computer on charm and annoying persistence.
Epilogue
When we left Stop & Shop, our return-trip brought us back past Staples. It was 9:36 at that time, and we noted that the lights were still blazing (so much for the timer) and there were cars in the parking lot. There may well be some sort of timer that dims the lights, but we got a kick out of imagining that Staples would devise a plan that would leave a slow-moving closing crew stumbling in the dark. I’m glad she let us in, and it seemed to be to be the sensible thing to do. She probably figured, “either I call the police or I sell these guys a computer.” I’m glad she didn’t call the police, but made the sale instead.
Clearly, there are no commissions. But thank you Ms. Staples Store manager, wherever you are.
Posted by James at December 23, 2004 3:10 AM