I got a kick out of Bil’s Gabe’s recent post on A Cry For Help:
So I’m glad Ratzinger was selected. I kind of hope he goes medieval on everyone. “I’m Catholic, but I don’t see a problem with the pill.” EXCOMMUNICATED!
I agree.
JPII was too stingy with the excommunications. What good is it being Pope if you can’t use that power? I think the Vatican should develop an excommunication pistol.
It would look (to mortals) like a normal suction-cup toy gun, but this gun would have the power to toss you into the fiery abyss of non-Catholicism. For extra symbolic effect, it would have a clip of 7 suction cup darts. Harnessing the Pope’s ability to channel divine inspiration, the gun would have a supernatural ability to hit its intended target with uncanny accuracy.
Catholics the world over would toe the line for fear of the dreaded “THWAP!” that signals another soul cast out of the Church, and the telltale angry red circle on the forehead of the heretic… a mark that curiously will yield neither to soap nor Noxzema.
Posted by James at April 21, 2005 9:25 AMCredit where credit is due, that was Gabe's post. I realize other peoples' posts to A Cry for Help are rare, so I don't blame ya.
Noxzema sounds sufficiently latin-y to wash off papal suction-cupping, I think.
Ooh, suction and cupping in a Catholic context, sorry about that.
Posted by: Bil at April 21, 2005 10:31 AMHow about mounting a belt-fed scution-cup machine gun on the roof of the Popemobile, and have Ratzkeller drive through and over the crowd Rat Patrol style, laying waste whereever he goes.
sorry, got carried away there.
Posted by: Bob McCown at April 21, 2005 10:36 AMRat Patrol!!! HAH!!
Posted by: Patti M. at April 21, 2005 12:16 PM