September 26, 2005

Dolphins. Armed and Dangerous

Armed dolphins, trained by the US military to shoot terrorists and pinpoint spies underwater, may be missing in the Gulf of Mexico. […]

‘My concern is that they have learnt to shoot at divers in wetsuits who have simulated terrorists in exercises. If divers or windsurfers are mistaken for a spy or suicide bomber and if equipped with special harnesses carrying toxic darts, they could fire,’ he said. ‘The darts are designed to put the target to sleep so they can be interrogated later, but what happens if the victim is not found for hours?’

If highly trained, armed dolphins was not one of the signs of the end times, that’s just because the folks who wrote the Bible were not as creative as they ought to have been. The Book of Revelation (call it “Book of Revelations” when you want to annoy sticklers) is pretty trippy stuff, but this proves that truth is stranger than fiction.

Can I get an “amen?”

Posted by James at September 26, 2005 8:06 AM
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So long and thanks for all the ammo. Suckers.

Posted by: Mike L. at September 26, 2005 8:47 AM

That particular dolphin looks like he's more concenrned with tailgaiters.

Posted by: B.O.B. (bob) at September 26, 2005 10:37 AM


Posted by: Chuck S. at September 26, 2005 11:03 AM

What, the Bible?

Posted by: James at September 26, 2005 11:42 AM

If I had found this article, I would have posted it on my blog under the heading "Don't Mess With Dolphins".

I matters semi-related to this and other topics of recent discussion, I heard stories summer before last of dolphins luring swimmers from the beach and then attempting to copulate with them... that's pretty scary too. I guess some people drowned or something.

Posted by: Chuck S. at September 26, 2005 1:21 PM

When dolphins go bad. Kind of reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Lisa frees a dolphin and it goes on to lead a revolt wherein the dolphins take over the land and exile the humans to the oceans.

Posted by: briwei at September 26, 2005 5:04 PM


Posted by: ThirdMate at September 26, 2005 7:15 PM

Yeah, well, you have a boat. The JulieMobile has proven its nonseaworthiness. (Seaworthlessness?)

Posted by: Julie at September 27, 2005 9:35 AM

Two different things. I've worked on boats known for their "nonseaworthiness, and I've worked with crew who were guilty of "seaworthlessness." And like the JulieMobile, all could be made "seaworthy" with duct tape and WestSystem epoxy. And, there are no bad dolphins, only bad George C. Scott movies. "Fa love Pa," indeed.

Posted by: ThirdMate at September 27, 2005 4:01 PM

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