October 20, 2005

You and James Read the News

It’s news-riffic!

Miers Can’t Fill Out A Questionnaire

Miers’ brevity fails to impress Senate panelists - Frustrated Specter and Leahy find her answers inadequate

Known for her meticulousness and near obsessive attention to detail, Miers, for example, gave one-word answers to two-part questions, Leahy said, adding that some senators were “insulted” by her answers.

Way to ace the job application, Harriet. But there’s more to this story than just Harriet needing a “do-over” on the application.

Specter is upset because the discussion about Harriet is all happening in the back rooms with people reassuring other people that Harriet is a good soldier for those who oppose a woman’s right to control what goes on inside her own body. But, really, Arlen. Back rooms. Back alleys… who really pays attention to this stuff?

Don’t miss this priceless gem from unconfirmed almost-SCOTUS Bork:

Pointing to a deepening rift between conservatives appalled by the nomination and those seeking to placate Bush, Bork said the Senate is being asked to “confirm a nominee with no visible judicial philosophy who lacks the basic skills of persuasive argument and clear writing.”

Scathing! And look at the choice you’ve got as a conservative today. Choose one:

  • I am appalled by the preznit’s choice of nominee
  • I am seeking to placate the preznit.

Not much wiggle room there.

DeLay Ordered to Texas for Booking

Rep. Tom DeLay was ordered to appear at the sheriff’s office in his home county of Fort Bend for booking on state conspiracy and money laundering charges.

Yep - they’re going to book him and fingerprint him. When do we get to see the mug shot? An attaboy or attagirl to the first person to post an image link!

Moralistic Buffoons Give Unsolicited Opinion About TV

We were alarmed to find that the three worst shows … are being marketed as family-friendly when in fact these shows are none other than wolves in sheep’s clothing,” Brent Bozell, head of the Virginia-based group, said in a statement.

Brent Bozo needs to check himself before he wrecks himself. I have yet to see Family Guy or American Dad marketed to kids. I think that they’re just upset these shows skew liberal. Granted, they appear at the end of the “Safe Harbor” on Sunday (they air just before 10PM, instead of after 10) but there is a clear warning before every airing of the show.

And, to further etch these folks onto my pooplist, they went after Arrested Development as well. I guess it’s not bad enough that nobody watches the show.

Cancer Drug ‘Simply Stunning’

In test results released on Wednesday that researchers called “simply stunning”, the drug Herceptin was shown to dramatically reduce the recurrence of a common type of breast cancer in its early stage after chemotherapy.

In a sapphire blue chiffon gown by J.Mendel, Herceptin dazzled fans with an elegantly flowing train and a crystal banded empire waist, all befitting of a princess. It certainly wins for most attention-grabbing cancer-drug and our overall best dressed. Way to go, Herceptin!

Sorry, Angiotensin-I converting enzyme inhibitors. You’re so 2004.

Mad Chicken Disease

A villager has become the 13th person to die of bird flu in Thailand while his son is being treated for flu-like symptoms, the prime minister said. […] The victim had slaughtered and cooked a neighbour’s dead chickens.

Not to joke in the face of a looming apocalypse, but isn’t it overkill to slaughter a dead chicken?

Note to self: avoid the chicken at the Thai restaurant.

Astrologer predicts own death

Folks in Bhopal are worried that this “accurate” astrologer’s forecast means he will die at the predicted hour. Fear is bolstered by his previous track record.

“My father had predicted the death of my grandfather 15 years ago and it came true exactly like he calculated.”

Oddly, the grandfather was found face-down in his curry, with a knife in his back. Just as predicted! So, you can see why people are worried.

Posted by James at October 20, 2005 8:13 AM
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Comments

You cannot avoid the chicken at the Thai restaurant. Everyone knows Thai restaurants serve only rice, chicken, and vegetables. ;)

Posted by: Julie at October 20, 2005 11:28 AM

I'd like to know more about the astrologer's track record.

For instance, did he accurately predict the release of Methyl Isocyanate from the Union Carbide plant in Bhopal on Dec. 4, 1984?

"It was 2:30 AM December 4, 1984. Until that time, few westerners had ever heard of Bhopal, India, but within 24 hours, Bhopal would become a household word, a word that would exemplify what environmentalists had feared most about modern industry."

Yep, that's true. When I hear "Bhopal," I think "American Cyanamid," the company that bought Union Carbide. I believe American Cyanamid was then bought by American Home Products (now Wyeth), which divested itself of the company in 2000. I can't seem to figure out who owns them now.

Posted by: Patti M. at October 20, 2005 11:53 AM

I forgot! Karma is vindicated.

Posted by: James at October 20, 2005 12:02 PM

Patti: Maybe this guy caused the toxic release?

It's tough to know for sure, but that's my theory.

Posted by: James at October 20, 2005 12:03 PM

James, there's a joke about farts in there somewhere, but I'm just to tired to put it all together.

Posted by: Patti M. at October 20, 2005 12:05 PM

I'm glad they went after Arrested Development. It could improve ratings. (If anyone still remembers to watch it by the time baseball is over.) Supposedly, the boycott against "Married With Children" backfired and helped the show.

Posted by: Julie at October 20, 2005 12:22 PM

Don't worry, James. The chikens in question were Thai chickens. As everyone knows, Chickens can't fly. Since they can't fly over here, the Thai restauraunts have to use American chickens.
Of course, you could always have the Mad Cow Satay, Karma be damned...er DeLay'd.

Posted by: briwei at October 20, 2005 12:30 PM

That astrologer is none too bright. Talk about a lose-lose situation. If he's right, he dies. If he's wrong, he's exposed as a fraud. At that point he may be beter off dead. If this were fiction dealing with prophesy and foreseeing the future, the Police would somehow cause his death. The world would marvel at the irony that they would never have been there if not for the prediction.

Posted by: briwei at October 20, 2005 12:46 PM

True, Bri. He should have predicted he WON'T die. That's win-win.

On the chickens, be nonchalant about it if you like, but I'm not trusting those Thai restaurant chickens unless I see a work visa.

Posted by: James at October 20, 2005 1:03 PM

My eyes can't stop rolling over the Miers thing.

Posted by: Chuck S. at October 20, 2005 2:01 PM

You're not supposed to smile in your mug shot! The whole thing is a joke to him. What a doofus.

Posted by: Julie at October 20, 2005 5:04 PM

I saw that and was disgusted. I half expected to see him handing out autographed copies. Bastard.

Posted by: briwei at October 20, 2005 5:37 PM

The nightly news showed the full-body mug shot. All that was missing is the "Lyndie England" hand gesture (two finger guns, as if to say "Yeah, baby!").

What a schmo.

Posted by: Patti M. at October 21, 2005 8:17 AM

Bush plagued by domestic troubles
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4362658.stm

During a news conference with the Palestinian leader, Mahmoud Abbas, on Thursday Mr Bush was repeatedly asked about domestic issues...

"Mr President," asked one member of the press corps, "There are a lot of distractions for your White House: the CIA leak investigation, a conservative uproar, congressional criticism over the Harriet Miers nomination.

"How preoccupied is the White House with these problems and how are you dealing with that?"

From the president, a strained-sounding reply: "There is some background noise here, a lot of chatter, but the American people expect me to do my job and I am going to."

------

Thank you, Mister President, for trivialising the lying and corruption--including the potentially deadly consequences of the outing of a covert CIA operative--as "background nose" and "chatter."

Dickhead.

Posted by: Patti M. at October 21, 2005 10:30 AM

I too thought DeLay looked like a buffoon in his mug shot. Maybe he just doesn't realize it's not another "photo op".

J

Posted by: jocelyn at October 21, 2005 2:00 PM

Actually, I heard that he was trying to look as "up" as possible so that the Dems wouldn't be able to use it in ads against him.

Posted by: briwei at October 21, 2005 2:12 PM

If that's what he's concerned with, I don't think he grasps the situation. So, perhaps the "stupid grin" look is actually apt.

On second thought, who doesn't want a Tom DeLay Glamour Shot?

Posted by: James at October 21, 2005 2:24 PM

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