December 6, 2005

Why I Will Not Shop At The Campus Store

Campus Store Hearth
Originally uploaded by Dr Momentum.
The campus store is all decked out in finery, but notice the greeting they choose to place above the wreath:


No mention of Jesus. Clearly, the campus store does not wish me a "Merry Christmas." If they wished me a "Merry Christmas" the sign would say "Merry Christmas." Or mention Jesus.

If you use any greeting other than "Merry Christmas" after Thanksgiving, you are purposefully wishing someone a bad Christmas (or calling for the destruction of Christianity). Otherwise, you would just say "Merry Christmas." It's a very simple principle.

There is special dispensation for Jews. Jews can say "Happy Hanukkah" and not mean anything by it. They don't know any better because they were brought up to say "Happy Hanukkah" and not "Merry Christmas." But the UMassD campus store is not run by Jews -- I checked.

Since it does not say "Merry Christmas" I can only conclude the following things:

1) The campus store is run by liberal university heathens.

2) Everyone at the campus store is at war on Christmas, including the shoppers who knowlingly participate in this travesty.

3) Fake fire, fake tree, fake hearth... even though they don't mention Christmas by name, they are mocking it. And therefore, mocking all Christians. And therefore, Jesus.

In the shifty way of campus liberals, if you confronted these folks they might try to backpedal and actually wish you a "Happy Holidays." Fuel to the fire, I say! And I will not contenance such a personal affront.

I would fix them in my steely glare, curl my lips back and wish them a "Very Merry Christmas" through my teeth. And I would wait there and allow the religiousness of my statement to sink in through that thick secular skin. I would wait until I saw my barb hit its mark.

And then I would turn on my heel and march right out of there.

Posted by James at December 6, 2005 5:33 PM
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I've read practically the same essay a dozen times, written by people who weren't being sarcastic. Incidentally, the White House "Christmas" card says Happy Holidays, so now there are people who are offended to receive a card FROM THE POTUS.

Posted by: Julie at December 7, 2005 9:04 AM

I'd be offended to receive a card from the POTUS. It might mean he either liked me or wanted something from me. I don't relish either distinction. Check with me in 12/2009. ;-)

"Fake fire, fake tree, fake hearth" clearly they feel this is a fake holiday. You are right to boycott. Unless they have something you can't find anywhere else that you really, really want.

Posted by: briwei at December 7, 2005 11:11 AM

Link to the story Julie mentions

Bush made baby Jesus cry. But, as Falwell sez:

"There's a verse from Scripture in it. I don't mind that at all, as long as we don't try to pretend we're not a nation under God," said the Rev. Jerry Falwell.
Posted by: James at December 7, 2005 3:17 PM

Weird, I thought I had included a link in my post. It was different, either from ABC or MSNBC, and didn't have so many quotes in it. Therefore, I did not realize that there was a Bible quote inside the card, nor that the fact it was from the Old Testament would further offend.

Posted by: Julie at December 7, 2005 4:35 PM

Are we a nation under god? That would explain the crushing weigh I feel.

Thanks, Jerry! What a guy.

Posted by: Patti M. at December 7, 2005 4:37 PM

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