My extended family has recently suffered the loss of my wonderful great-aunt “Toni.” She was my Mom’s aunt, my grandmother’s sister. Her actual name was “Zachree Azar.” Today I spent some time with my family for her funeral mass.
When I say “extended family” it always sounds strange to me, because, growing up, we were all just one big family. We never said “extended family.” All the cousins were just always there and I didn’t even question know what the actual relationships were. Who was related to whom and how.
Anyhow, I love all of them. And I’ve been supremely lucky to have so many of them around for so long. I’m 38 and I still have great-aunts and great-uncles and my grandmother. They are all very strong people.
Many people who read my weblog know my cousin Bill - Toni was his grandmother. So, my heart goes out to his mom, and all of their immediate family, and wonderful Unce Joe. I’ll always remember the time Bill and I spent in Aunt Toni and Uncle Joe’s house when we were teenagers during the summer that Bill came back to Fall River.
When I was a little tyke, my Mom spent a lot of time with my aunts, and therefore I spent a lot of time around them. In a lot of ways, I have had a bunch of grandmothers. Aunt Toni and all of them treated us like princes.
My aunts were and are like a force of nature. Even now at their advanced age, their strong characters are irrepressible. Maybe even moreso now. Toni was the older sister, and she was as kind and as generous a person as you could ever meet.
We will miss you, Aunt Toni.
Posted by James at May 3, 2006 5:28 PMI'm sure all your friends will say a prayer tonight for Aunt Toni and those who loved her. Peace.
Posted by: George at May 3, 2006 8:28 PMI'm so sorry for your loss!
Posted by: Keri at May 3, 2006 8:57 PMSo sorry about your Aunt Toni. I also have a lot of great-uncles and didn't understand exactly how we were related until I was in my mid-20's at least. They're all quite old now. Although no one is gravely ill at the moment, they're so closely-knit that I fear they'll all be gone within a year of each other. :-( It's so strange to be thinking that way after taking them all for granted for so many years.
Posted by: Julie at May 3, 2006 10:06 PMJames - pass along my condolences to the whole family, especially Bull and his folks. I wish I could be there. I am in spirit.
Posted by: briwei at May 3, 2006 10:52 PMMy sincere condolences. Please send my well wishes to your mom and family.
Posted by: ThirdMate at May 4, 2006 8:00 AMSorry for your loss, buddy.
Posted by: Chuck S. at May 4, 2006 8:22 AMSorry to hear that, James.
Posted by: Mike L. at May 4, 2006 9:13 AMJames, I'm saddened to read of your great-aunt's passing, and I'm glad to know you have such fond memories of her.
Posted by: Patti M. at May 4, 2006 11:08 AMJames said to me after the funeral, "My family is always my family." As one of Toni's daughters stood and spoke about her mother at the dinner, Toni's youngest sister heckled her from her table. I can't even repeat one of my favorite conversations that took place among Toni and all her sisters, it was so bawdy.
The intrigue at the funeral was the crasher -- a guy about our age who sobbed uncontrollably at the funeral home, and went with the funeral party all the way to the dinner, giving three different names for himself when asked by various family members. It is impossible to be anonymous at a Lebanese funeral. Everybody knows everybody. Connections are very important. But as the son in law of "Giddo Joe," who owned a restaurant and used to feed homeless people off the street, Toni's husband said he was welcome at her dinner.
Posted by: Maggie at May 4, 2006 11:43 AMWow. A funeral crasher. Wedding crashers I've heard of, but funeral? I guess people figure everyone's too upset to bother to check. Though in this case, it sounds like it was ok with the family.
Posted by: Patti M. at May 4, 2006 11:55 AM