It’s official. All of America’s Problems are solved.
Global warming has been stopped in its tracks.
Energy prices are under control. Energy is cleanly and safely generated.
Iraq is a strong democracy, sectarian violence is a thing of the past, and we have withdrawn American troops.
The economy is growing at an unprecedented rate with inflation under control.
The budget deficit is small and manageable.
The dollar is strengthening.
Everyone who wants a job has one.
We’re prepared for the next natural disaster.
Political hacks have been flushed from the Executive branch.
The USA is loved for our global leadership
The president isn’t interested in deceiving the American people, and we’ve straightened out the leaking of secrets to attack political critics.
We’ve got huge diplomatic leverage.
We’ve been able to fully fund Homeland Security initiatives.
There is tax equity, and people have a general feeling that the people that have most benefited from increases in wealth have also paid their fair share.
Education programs are funded sufficiently and students are getting the services they need.
Heath care is available and affordable for nearly all Americans.
How do I know all this? I read the news, of course!
These aren’t the problems we need the government working on. These would be a joke if it weren’t obvious that they were targeted at the Americans that the GOP are worried won’t come to the polls in 2006. It’s a cynical distraction from the country’s real problems.
This is what the Legislative branch will be occupying their time with in the next few weeks.
All the more reason that this congress needs a radical reprioritization in November.
