July 11, 2006

Italian Footballer Utters Lamest Excuse Ever

If you’ve paid any attention at all to the World Cup, you probably know by now that French footballer Zidane was red-carded and ejected from the final against Italy for a brutal head-butting of Italian footballer Marco Materazzi. (videos of it are all over YouTube)

(First, an aside. Soccer looks like a fun sport, but all the writhing around on the ground in response to injuries is a real turn-off. Players appear to take every opportunity to look like 5-year-olds on a playground when somebody bumps into them. As soon as they learn they aren’t getting the penalty, they somehow manage to suck it up and a miraculous recovery occurs. Yeah, yeah, yeah — I’m a dumb American who doesn’t “get” soccer, I am the hundred millionth person to make this criticism, and there are similar phenomena in other sports. But I’m not a fan of those other sports, and seeing grown men acting like preschoolers is a pet peeve of mine. I don’t care what effect it has on the game technically, it’s ridiculous to watch.)

Back to Materazzi and Zildane. The head-butt looked gratuitous. Yeah, there was some chest-groping just before on the part of Materazzi, and I keep joking to Ryan that a purple nurple was involved (because Ryan was adamant that this was not happening, I kept showing him the video and saying things like “steer clear of Italian football celebrations, or at least guard your nipples.” Yeah, real clever stuff. Plus I just like saying “purple nurple.”) Ryan assures me that Materazzi was just holding Zidane back, but they did exchange words at that time.

There are varying accounts of what Materazzi said to Zidane. At first, neither footballer would talk about what was said. Lipreaders claim to have deciphered Materazzis comments from the video:

Britain’s top forensic lip-reader, Jessica Rees - whose skill has led her to be summoned as an expert witness at criminal trials - believed Materazzi called Zidane a “son of a terrorist whore” before he added, “So just f—- off”.

Materazzi’s representative came forward to say the comment was instead about Zidane’s wife.

A lot of that trash talk I’m sure goes both ways, and it’s a whole lot of he said/he said. You’ll have to come to your own conclusions on whether there was actual hate speech involved, or what you want to believe.

But what really got me was this comment from Materazzi:

“I did insult him, it’s true,” Materazzi said in Tuesday’s Gazzetta dello Sport. “But I categorically did not call him a terrorist. I’m not cultured and I don’t even know what an Islamic terrorist is.

What what what? Do you think someone explained it to him afterwards? This is really one of those “dumb if you do, dumb if you don’t” comments. Sorry you got head-butted, Marco, but give us all a huge break, here.

Sometimes, Americans get criticised for being unworldly because they’re not familiar with soccer — a sport so popular in much of the world. Well, at least I know what “football” is. And I have had enough experience in the world to know when someone is acting incredibly lame.

Posted by James at July 11, 2006 9:36 AM
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Regarding the fake injuries - I see that in basketball all the time. Player A fouls Player B and Player B plays it up, flying through the air, falling to the ground, etc... Who says that "drama" is a women's ploy? LOL

Posted by: at July 11, 2006 2:05 PM

I haven't watched basketball since the Celtics and the Lakers were going at it back in the 80's. If they have similar theatrics, then I'm glad I don't.

I don't find that behavior entertaining at all. And soccer has it in spades.

Posted by: James at July 11, 2006 2:18 PM

Yes, they've been doing that in basketball for at least 11 years. It's unbelievably lame and childish. Nobody in the NBA is going to be handed an acting gig on the basis of their foul-related theatrics.

As for "I don't even know what an Islamic terrorist is" - I don't know how to respond to that. And I didn't know name-calling was limited to "cultured" people.

Posted by: Julie at July 11, 2006 2:31 PM

Sounds like they're both hotheads. Zidane's head-butt was still idiotic from a game perspective, however. He reduced the French team's chances of winning at the exact moment they needed him the most.

Posted by: Mike L. at July 11, 2006 2:54 PM

It has nothing to do with whining or attempting to get a penalty. It has everything to do with trying to get them to call time for two minutes while you "recover" so that you and your teammates can catch your breath. You don't have tons of time-outs and foul shots and on-and-off the field stuff like you do in other sports so you just try to get a break any way you can.

Posted by: pippa at July 11, 2006 4:21 PM

I distinctly remember my father shouting at the TV, "Alcinder, stop being such a cry-baby." I think he thought that Abdul-Jabbar was trying to get fouls called that weren't deserved. Perhaps this was limited to the one player, however. And yes, I'm going back to Lakers/Celtics, which is the last time I ever watched basketball as well.

Posted by: Maggie at July 11, 2006 4:25 PM

If they have a strategic reason, good for them. Not good to watch. Whiny.

Posted by: James at July 11, 2006 5:35 PM

Excessive bad acting in soccer/football would be minimized by having more referees on the field. Don't cry for me, Argentina, because four other red shirts saw what you did.

Posted by: Mike L. at July 11, 2006 8:28 PM

After watching for a couple of weeks I remembered why I'm not a fan. It's fun to watch the actual game but al the acting and the fact that any important game seems to be settled with penalty kicks really turns me off. Seems to me they need some major changes in the sport including:

more refs so they can see when someone's acting and when someone's really been intentionally taken down.

video replay and penalties to players for intentions fouls as well as aggregious faking of fouls

more subs so that if it comes to overtime the players aren't falling over with fatigue.

Some kind of rule change that allows for games to be decided with actual play (pull the goaltender in the second OT, add/subtract players from the field)

There how B.O.B. fixes soccer so americans don't go "this is stupid, I'm a gonna watch NASCAR instead"

Posted by: B.O.B. (bob) at July 12, 2006 8:41 AM

LOL, Bob. Perhaps other parts of the world enjoy the theatrics of the sport.

Posted by: Maggie at July 12, 2006 12:12 PM

Maybe we're looking at this from the wrong angle, clearly Americans love wrestling... so why shouldn't play-acting on the soccer field resonate with American viewers.

Posted by: Chuck S. at July 12, 2006 2:16 PM

Maggie- from what I've read recently even soccer fans are getting sick of the play acting

Chuck- because everyone know wrestling is fake and it doesn't take itself seriously (it pretends to but in reality we all know it doesn't). Soccer takes itself al too seriously ("the world's game") and then looks down it's nose at you if you don't agree that it's the greatest sport in the universe.

Posted by: B.O.B. (bob) at July 12, 2006 2:30 PM

I wasn't aware soccer even had a nose. See I am completely out of touch with the whole world of sports.

Next thing you'll be telling me that tennis has an elbow.

Posted by: Chuck S. at July 12, 2006 6:04 PM

OK chuck that was an extremely poorly constructed sentence. I tend to type faster than I think then not want to go back and fix errors unless they're eggregious. Try this reconstruction though:

Soccer fans take their sport all too seriously ("the world's game") and then look down their noses at you if you don't agree with their opinion that soccer is the greatest sport in the universe.

Posted by: B.O.B. (bob) at July 13, 2006 1:35 PM

I was actually thinking much along the same lines as Chuck, but not exactly the same -- that every culture needs their silly drama sport. For us it's wrestling, and are you sure, Bob, that everybody knows it's fake? Maybe for Europeans it's soccer. But maybe not.

In my high school, soccer was the sport that the... upper class, I guess... boys played, and the other guys played football. It definitely has a snob element to it. It's very athletic and elegant compared with football, which is a lot of smashing. But I was appalled by the head-butt. That was pathetic. It goes to prove, as if we needed proof, that athletic prowess does not guarantee good sportsmanship or any high-quality character traits whatsoever.

Posted by: Maggie at July 13, 2006 2:36 PM

Of course, in American football they wear a lot of padding to protect from all the smashing.

Soccer will likely become more popular in this country, if only because it's a game that so many kids play now. It wasn't nearly as widespread when we were kids.

Posted by: James at July 13, 2006 2:42 PM

The athletic skills of good soccer/football players can be astounding to watch whether they are on the pitch or a beach volleyball court in Rio de Janeiro. However, at its best I'm afraid the sport is too slow and subtle for casual American sports fans like me who are accustomed to rapid fire highlight reels on ESPN. Aside from the past two years of Red Sox playoffs I don't remember the last time I watched a complete game of anything. So I doubt soccer will ever spark widespread interest here until regular season games appear on television as often as, say, golf (which I enjoy watching, unlike most people).

I think both Bob and Maggie are right. I agree with most of his suggestions to make the game more exciting but as Maggie said the rest of the world make prefer the game just the way it is. The overacting adds to the drama and feeds the regional and national rivalries that clearly seem to be the largest part of football's global appeal.

Posted by: Mike L. at July 13, 2006 4:04 PM

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