September 19, 2006

Post Like a Pirate Day

Avast, ye! All you freebooters and picaroons!

It’s September 19th, Talk Like A Pirate Day! Damn, I just can’t get excited about it this year.

While most of us look forward to this time of year, because it is the most socially acceptable time of year to talk like a pirate, there is a darker side to “Talk Like A Pirate Day.”

Recent studies show that there is widespread workplace discrimination against people who talk like pirates. People who try to talk like pirates at meetings are met with derision. There is a chilling effect against talking like a pirate and polls show that, as a result, many people are intimidated into silence. So many workplaces prohibit swords that would-be-pirate-talkers are left with little recourse.

Worse still, many pirate enthusiasts who look forward to this day all year find that reality does not live up to their expectations. Along with the decorations and the heady aroma of oakum and tar, an emptiness engulf some. There is an almost measurable spike in suicides. It’s important that if you do find yourself feeling like you’re in Davey’s grip this pirate season, pick up the phone and call another Jack Tar and maybe share a plate of salmagundi.

Some claim that it’s not coincidence that there are so many problems this time of year, and they point to a concerted “War on Talk Like A Pirate Day” — with even kids in the schools subject to organized anti-pirate propaganda. While it may seem absurd, some schools let the day pass without even mentioning pirates. “Pirates are the reason for the season” has become a rallying cry of those who feel oppressed.

In the face of this injustice, many pirate adherents have proposed to dissolve “Talk Like a Pirate Day” and replace it with “Act Like a Pirate Day.” Indeed, that smarmy and holier-than-thou anti-pirate coworker will not be so quick to make fun of a pirate accent while he’s looking down at the hilt of a cutlass sticking out of his chest.

In any case, toss back some rum or mix up a Grace O’Malley. And enjoy “Talk Like a Pirate Day” however is your custom.

Posted by James at September 19, 2006 8:24 AM
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“Pirates are the reason for the season”

I love it! James, you are a gem.

Posted by: Patti M. at September 19, 2006 9:13 AM


Posted by: Northbound at September 19, 2006 1:03 PM

Where did the rum go!!!

Posted by: B.O.B. (bob) at September 19, 2006 2:01 PM

Anybody need a "Type Like A Pirate" keyboard?

Posted by: Julie at September 19, 2006 2:13 PM

Now that's what I need: An avast key!

Posted by: Patti M. at September 19, 2006 3:29 PM

That there be a good video. Yaar.

Posted by: Patti M. at September 19, 2006 3:52 PM

Anyone want some cracked software?

Posted by: Mike at September 19, 2006 3:54 PM

Check out yesterday's Partially Clips. They had a pretty funny pirate comic.

Posted by: briwei at September 20, 2006 4:39 PM

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