Aces Full of Links: Still With Small?

December 6, 2006

Still With Small?

Spam Subjects

I've gotten quite a bit of spam email lately, and for some stupid reason I thought I'd catalog some of the subject lines. Some of them are amusing, but they do get repetitive very quickly. The funniest one is one that wasn't sent to me, it was contributed by Ryan.

why your sausage is so small?? :-))
hahaha man, why your meat is so small?? ;-))
pump your weenie!
Are you still with short weenie? ;-)
When did you spoil you computer at last time?
Where did you get so small weenie?
Avoid enhancement pills
More Size More Pleasure
Bigger Size Bigger Pleasure (Borrowing heavily from the logic of old Burger King ad campaigns)
Take your Award - Mr. Smallest sausage 2006 ;))
Ryan. better than warm milk. overnight debt settlement. (This one was sent to Ryan, obviously)
Beware of fake pills (This one has my best interests in mind!)
Any meds and christmas gifts
Small schlong not big problem anymore!
How long you will live with small ramrod?! ;-))
No need to visit local drug store. supersize

I'd like to think that people aren't really this self-conscious about their "size." To read all these ads, you might conclude that a preoccupation with this "your meat" is one of the major distractions of the human race, holding us back from eventual greatness. How do we get any work done when we're so worried about "bigger pleasure" and on top of it have to ignore the siren song of these alluring email offers?
Posted by James at December 6, 2006 9:27 AM

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Comments

I'm going to try out "Where did you get so small weenie?" the next time I'm at a party and pigs in a blanket is being served.

Posted by: Mike at December 6, 2006 9:57 AM

I thought I was "Mr. Smallest Sausage 2006" when I won that regional cocktail weenie eating contest...

Posted by: Bull at December 6, 2006 10:20 AM

I'm sorry I didn't get all the way through the article, I was preoccupied with, um, something.

;-)

Posted by: Chuck S. at December 6, 2006 10:47 AM

Thank you for sharing this list, MR. Smallest Sausage 2006.

Thankfully, "your dick like a bat" has run its course. That sounds painful and sure didn't make me want to buy whatever it was.

Sadly, I'm still seeing subject lines like "bigger manhood in six months" and mail about pleasing my woman.

Posted by: Patti M. at December 6, 2006 11:59 AM

My question is, how do the unsolicited email folks know what sort of breakfast sausage I like?

It's uncanny!

Posted by: James at December 6, 2006 12:08 PM

Full of health? Then dont click here.

The other one I wonder about is Viagra/Cialis/etc softabs. Now, if I want Viagra, is it wise to sell them in SOFT tabs? Isnt that what Id be trying to avoid?

Posted by: bob McCown at December 10, 2006 10:42 PM

This horrifying spam just showed up in my spam folder today:

"Always wanted to have your dick as big as an elephant. Try our Virility Patch"

Um, no. 1) I have no dick and 2) if I did, what would I do with such a bit one?

Posted by: Patti M. at December 11, 2006 8:35 AM

That would be "big one," by the way.

Posted by: Patti M. at December 11, 2006 8:36 AM

Even elephants don't have dicks as big as elephants.

Posted by: James at December 11, 2006 8:52 AM

See? Truly false and misleading!

Posted by: Patti M. at December 11, 2006 9:35 AM

Just remember:
"The penis is evil, the penis shoots seeds." -- Zardoz

Posted by: Maggie at December 11, 2006 10:46 AM

I'm glad we didn't watch that entire movie. I think it's more the sort of film you need to watch just a few minutes at a time, several years apart, to truly savor every moment.

Posted by: Julie at December 11, 2006 10:51 AM