March 20, 2007

Amazing Driving, Yankees Fan

What’s going on with the driving today?

I’m seeing some real horrible driving today, like the three people who passed me on a narrow road at high speed as I was slowing down to take the turn into work. I’ve had people pass me there before, and it’s not a big deal, but for 3 people to be close enough behind me and going fast enough for them all to be able to make it past me before I completed my turn is surprising.

But that doesn’t take the cake. Yankees Fan in the tan truck takes the cake today.

I crossing over the Brightman Street Bridge this morning, traveling along at a in the left-hand lane, nobody on my tail and nobody at all in front of me. A large, tan-colored pickup truck with MA tags comes up on my right, just in front of me and cuts me off. I think to myself “Jerk” but it’s not really a big deal. Nobody is behind me, so I just hit my breaks and give him some space. Still, nobody is in front of us, and if he wanted to get in front of me, he really could have given me a car length at least. I was going about 35, having just taken a left. He’d taken the left, too, from the right-hand lane, so we were going similar speeds.

He’s got a really big NY Yankees magnet on the left side of his tailgate. On the right side, a little fancy yellow ribbon magnet. Yay. I don’t see a “I support Good Driving” sticker anywhere.

We came to the light at the 79 onramp. Out of habit, I pull up next to him into the right-hand lane. I like to be away from the oncoming traffic that’s to the left, in case somebody runs the light. In about 3 minutes I’ve almost forgotten that he cut me off.

When the light turns green, he peels out in his big tan pickup. He’s about 10 car lengths ahead by the time I cross the intersection. I actually laugh out loud, because I figure he must have been unhappy to be stopped at the light, and he might have made it through the light before if he’d sped up instead of cutting me off. Plus, if he’s in a hurry I’m glad to see him go.

79 is 3 lanes here, but it narrows to 2. I’m in the disappearing lane. Amazingly, he’s slowed down now and I am catching up to him. He’s in the middle lane. Many car lengths behind him, I decide that I don’t want to be behind him when this lane disappears. So I put on my directional and cross over into the left lane. As I cross over into the left, he moves into my lane - no directional. I’m still quite a ways behind him. I interpret his lane-change as a desire to avoid the merging traffic about 2 miles ahead, figuring it has nothing to do with me.

In any case, I’d rather not be right behind him, and he’s still driving slow, so I change into the right lane (the 3rd lane is already gone.)

He, of course, crosses in front of me. I’m racking my brain now, wondering if I somehow cut this guy off at some point. But I haven’t actually switched lanes or taken any turns in front of anyone since I left the house. So I can’t have cut anyone off.

Without speeding up to pass, I switch into the left lane, and he switches back in front of me, this time close enough to cut me off again.

Whatever. At this point we hit traffic, getting onto 195. When another car passes on the right, I cut behind it, pass up two cars, and get onto the 195 onramp. He gets caught in merging traffic and disappears in my rearview mirror about 2 minutes later.

Dear Yankees fan:

On a scale of 1 to 10, your driving sucks like a late August 2004 Yankees game against the Cleveland Indians.

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Have a nice day.

Posted by James at March 20, 2007 11:10 AM
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These types of people make me very very nervous.

I'm sorry you're having a bad day because of whatever (girlfriend dumped you, dog bit you, Viagra's not working, etc.), but please don't take it out on me!

Here's one. We were in the car and stopped at a light on a one-lane road (one in each direction).

Dude in a Semi (sorry, SUV) pulles up and begins to pass. Did I mention this is a one-lane road through a town and not a highway?

I rolled down the window and said to him, "Now where do you need to be on a Sunday morning that you're going to try to pass me and risk scraping the side of my car?"

He looked at the gap between us as if to say I was crazy and there's plenty of room.

The light turned green and we began to pull away when he yelled out, "What lane are you in?" to which I put up my _index_ finger and yelled back (with Bob in harmony), "There's only ONE lane!"

My god. What is _wrong_ with people? Oh, pardon me. Let me stay at home so you can get your ya yas out on the road.


Posted by: Patti M. at March 20, 2007 1:28 PM


I read your post and liked it but I got hung up ont he second paragraph:
"I'm sorry you're having a bad day because of whatever (girlfriend dumped you, dog bit you, Viagra's not working, etc.), but please don't take it out on me!"

As I read this I thought:
This person probably isn't having a bad day. They are like that ALL the time... That scares me more :P


Posted by: Jay at March 20, 2007 4:13 PM

A Yankees fan in the fecund fields of RedSox Nation is sure to be exhibiting chip-on-shoulder defensiveness. Especially with the overwhelming quantity of "Yankees Suck" stickers. When the midlife crisis midsize convertibles and the discourteous SUVs start cranking the music from the car ads, I know it's Spring. Cheers.

Posted by: ThirdMate at March 20, 2007 6:14 PM

I had a similar experience many years ago (20 or 25) on I-95 in Maryland, coming north out of the toll booths. The guy was going about 30 and wouldn't let me pass him. I finally just stopped on the shoulder and let him move on, rather than playing games with him. Very odd. Very, very odd.

Maybe your guy is mine's son.

Posted by: Barry Leiba at March 21, 2007 2:53 AM

Jay, this is precisely why I need a rocket launcher mounted on my car.

Posted by: Patti M. at March 21, 2007 9:18 AM

"Jay, this is precisely why I need a rocket launcher mounted on my car."

This is interesting. A friend of mine and I once has this SAME conversation. Except that my friend wanted his car lights to be able to vaporize a target with the touch of a button (it was neater than the rockets ;)). My response to that is "If you can have a (insert weapon here), they probably can too, and they are in all likelyhood much more reckless (re: much less intelligent) than you. I'd rather we just invent instant matter transport (beam me home scottie!) and I wouldn't have to deal with they nitwits :)" Of course that response isn't entirely applicable because rocket launchers are real today whereas vaporization rays and matter transport aren't.

Just thought I'd share :)

Posted by: Jay at March 21, 2007 11:44 AM

Ok, then I'll settle for stadium lights installed on my roof so I can blind the person behind me who has his high beams on.

Do NOT cross me when I'm driving.

Posted by: Patti M. at March 21, 2007 12:22 PM


Roger that.

Posted by: Jay at March 21, 2007 3:57 PM

I need a magic button on my dashboard.

When I press the magic button, the person who is driving like an a-hole will suddenly find his car slowing down and pulling over safely by the side of the road. All his doors will lock and refuse to open. His radio will begin playing a recording that he is being given a 10 minute time-out for endangering the lives of other drivers, followed by a 10 minute lecture on responsible driving, concluding with the warning that his next time-out will be longer.

Posted by: Chuck S. at March 22, 2007 9:02 AM

I like it, Chuck. Add a pain dimension, such as a shock administered via the seat, and I'm in.

Posted by: Patti M. at March 22, 2007 1:36 PM

I've always wanted a roof-mounted egg cannon, myself.

Posted by: julie at March 23, 2007 11:10 AM

I've got an endless supply of dog poo I can donate if you'd rather have a dog doo cannon. Smellier and not a waste of eggs.


Posted by: Patti M. at March 23, 2007 11:19 AM

Not a bad idea, but alas, this isn't a good time for me to be thinking about dog poo. :(

Posted by: julie at March 23, 2007 12:26 PM

Oh, Julie! How awful and sad.

Posted by: Patti M. at March 23, 2007 1:03 PM

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