April 22, 2007

Would You Rather?

Which mutant ability Would You Rather have?

  • An ability that ensures you will always encounter green traffic lights at any intersection or
  • The ability to turn your urine into high-octane gasoline

Posted by James at April 22, 2007 9:36 PM
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Comments

Definitely A. Seeing as though I have no penis with which to pee directly into my fuel tank, option B would be cumbersome and messy.

Posted by: Patti M. at April 23, 2007 8:44 AM

That certainly makes sense.

But, there is always this product.

And you'd probably want to collect it and turn it into gasoline before putting it in your tank.

Posted by: James at April 23, 2007 9:08 AM

Here you go, Patti:
Lady J

Maybe just add a little vapor reclamation shield.

Posted by: Maggie at April 23, 2007 9:32 AM

I'll take the urine power.

Posted by: Derek at April 23, 2007 9:32 AM

So that's what this guy was doing...

Posted by: Mike at April 23, 2007 9:39 AM

GMTA, Maggie. (My comment was being held for moderation while she was posting hers. Yes, my blog software is moderating my own comments.)

Posted by: James at April 23, 2007 9:43 AM

Assuming that I don't have to do the conversion until after the urine is outside my body, I'll go with B. :)

Posted by: Julie at April 23, 2007 10:29 AM

Mercury Mistress: LOL, I remember that! - Just looked for a video of the Adobe commercial, can't find it. :(

Posted by: Julie at April 23, 2007 10:32 AM

I'll take the green lights. I think the small amount of gas I'd get from my pee (what like

In fact, not waiting for red lights would probably save me more gas than I could make in a day.

Posted by: B.O.B. (bob) at April 23, 2007 10:44 AM

Even with the pee funnel, I assume there will be, shall we say, drippage.

No thanks, I'll take the green lights. Plus, to Bob's point, not idling at red lights would save gas, so I'm sticking with A.

Posted by: Patti M. at April 23, 2007 11:14 AM

Further, unless I can somehow become incredibly tall, the pee wouldn't make it into the tank unless it would somehow magically flow against gravity, so there would have to be a pump in addition to the funnel.

My god, people who don't know us must think we're strange and have nothing to do all day!

Posted by: Patti M. at April 23, 2007 11:20 AM

I seriously did not imagine people would be actually peeing into their gas tank.

Posted by: James at April 23, 2007 11:27 AM

I assumed the conversion would take place outside the body, and that the volume of gasoline produced would be equal to the volume of urine.

Posted by: Julie at April 23, 2007 11:30 AM

See, that's way too involved. If you're going to dream, dream big. Why not wish for the ease of peeing right into the gas tank rather than into a container that you'd have to haul around.

Having had to do that to have my B12 level assessed, I can attest that it is a) cumbersome; b) messy; and c) just plain gross.

Posted by: Patti M. at April 23, 2007 11:42 AM

I appreciate your desire to dream big, but I think that no matter how large your desire to interface directly with the car, you'd be in serious danger from frostbite at certain times of the year.

Julie's interpretation coincides with my intentions; I was concerned both with the volume of gasoline you could produce (I didn't want anyone thinking they could set up a Sunoco station) and with the danger of actually urinating gasoline. Even if your body was immune to the effects, there is the possibility of ignition. So, the conversion takes place outside by some simple means.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't want my body parts anywhere near a car's fuel system. I once had the hair on my arm singed when a spark of static electricity ignited the gas fumes from my tank during a fill-up. Yow.

Posted by: James at April 23, 2007 12:16 PM

Allow me to clarify--I want no part of that option, for the very reasons you cite, in addition to my own. I want only green lights.

Posted by: Patti M. at April 23, 2007 12:29 PM

Pee-to-gas. I drink a lot of water and don't drive far. Plus where I live, it wouldn't matter that the lights were all green because some d|*#wad would drive through the red and hit me anyway. No one around here stops when the light turns red.

Posted by: mjfrombuffalo at April 23, 2007 1:25 PM

Are you sure you don't live in MA?

Posted by: Patti M. at April 23, 2007 1:58 PM

I'll take the high-octane urine option. My next car will probably be a Prius (on in this case, a Peeus), so the gas-wasted-at-a-red-light isn't really an issue.

Regarding the whole frostbite thing, allow me to offer up the obligatory yowch! Yes I too was assuming one would simply pee in a plastic gas container.

It certainly would make trips to and from the bathroom more cumbersome though, especially for the ladies since more equipment would be required.

This question gives a whole new meaning to the concept of passing gas.

Posted by: Chuck S. at April 23, 2007 2:35 PM

Pee to Gas. You could just drink more water if you needed to fill up. You would have to remember not to pee on camp fires, though.

Now if it was OTHER people's urine, then it would be a no-brainer...

Posted by: briwei at April 23, 2007 10:42 PM

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