July 9, 2007

Local News Roundup

To Diet or not to Diet

Since The state of RI has lowered the weight limit for the Sakonnet River Bridge. I feel that some sort of permission to indulge has been given. The eating of high-calorie foods will continue until further notice.

And It Was Such A Good Plan

Apparently disguising yourself as a tree while robbing a bank is not enough to keep the authorities form finding you.

The Old Heave-Ho

They actually kicked someone out of our town, for real. Citing accusations that he was life miserable for his whole neighborhood with harassing tactics, they invited this fellow to leave, sell his house and never set foot in town henceforth.

Apparently, he had some complaints on the other neighborhood residents as well. The police tell that he reported the neighbor kids for sticking their tongues out at him. Shocking!

Bush Criticized on 4th

“I don’t care for him anymore because of the Iraq War,” Conway said. “I don’t like it (the war). I don’t like what the president is doing about it.”

Yikes! Harsh public criticism on the Fourth. The story fails to mention whether Homeland Security allowed the man to finish with his Independence Day celebration before making their visit.

If You Can’t Convert ‘Em…

In not-so-local news, the Pope would like you to pray for all those misguided Jews who would be better off as Catholics. Specifically, “deliver them from their darkness.”

I want to make some joke about his history as a Nazi, but really folks, what good is having a religion if you can’t deliver other people from their darkness?

Posted by James at July 9, 2007 9:15 AM
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Wait, what? You can kick your neighbors out of town? I didn't know that was an option!

Posted by: Julie at July 9, 2007 10:58 AM

This is cool, from the comments on the Pope story: "I'm a former Catholic and SO GLAD I left that church."

At least the Pope is delivering some people from their darkness.

Our reason
which resides in our brain
let us use it always

to use science to further our knowledge
to debunk fraudulent claims
in this universe governed by laws we can know

and lead us not into temptation (to believe what makes us feel better)
but deliver us from faith
for this is all there is
it is fascinating, it is glorious
until the big crunch


Posted by: Maggie at July 9, 2007 11:06 AM

Ah, but did the pope attack the darkness?

(roll for +2 crosier of darkness-banishing)

Posted by: Patti M. at July 10, 2007 9:24 AM

LOL - that didn't even occur to me. See how the news rots one's sense of humor?

Posted by: James at July 10, 2007 9:39 AM

banned Bush interview. Apparantly it's not a good idea to actually try to engage the american president in a dialog.

Posted by: Rui at July 11, 2007 3:18 PM

WOW. I listened to this for as long as I could. I got to the part where he mentioned Sept. 11 and I had to stop. I think there should be a new Godwin's law based on Sept. 11.

Posted by: Julie at July 12, 2007 9:28 AM

(I was referring to the Bush interview, not the local news items.)

Posted by: Julie at July 12, 2007 9:29 AM

Godwin's law states:

As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.

So I think Bush definitely has a Bush's Law regarding speeches mentioning 9/11. And they don't even have to go on that long.

Posted by: James at July 12, 2007 5:03 PM

It would be wonderful if, somehow, the sound "Zip" or "Shh" (as in the Austin Powers movie) would spontaneously occur when he begins to mention "9/11."

Posted by: Patti M. at July 13, 2007 8:15 AM

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