Aces Full of Links

Rove's Retirement To Do List

Ten Projects on Karl Rove’s “Retirement” To-Do List

1. Dumpster diving for secrets on Hillary Clinton. And snacks.
2. Challenging college Republicans at several institutions across the nation in wet T-shirt beer belly contests
3. Finalizing plans to enroll in school part time in case next president reinstates draft
4. Writing a bunch of sappy letters that start with the words “Dear Mitt”
5. Organizing push poll with one question: “Would you be more or less likely to vote for Barak Obama if you knew he was a black Muslim terrorist sent to steal your soul, cancel American Idol and outlaw Twinkies?”
6. Lighting cigars with replicas of the Constitution of the United States of America
7. Following closely the continued search for WMDs from his air-conditioned home theater
8. Daring Rudolph Giuliani to a “Use 9/11 Tragedy-off” — Entries to be judged on creativity, cynicism and “fantasy.”
9. Completing his intricate model of the middle east… Stomping on an intricate model of the middle east
10. Alternately shredding and erasing. But all the while cackling.