September 20, 2007

WTF ...Thursday

Where’s the Feet? (as they say on Woot!)

Kids Say The Darndest Things

When police pulled over 28-year-old Joshua McClelland for a DUI, they didn’t expect to learn of another crime.

McClelland had two small kids in the car and said he had just come from his wife’s house in Bruceton Mills, W. Va. That’s when the suspect’s 5-year-old son in the back seat pointed to a bloody knife on the floor and said, “See that knife. Daddy stabbed mommy in the back.”

Holy crap that’s going to make Christmas awkward this year.

WTF Red Sox

WTF????

“We’re just not ready to talk about the playoff roster,” Francona said. “That doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.”

No kidding.

Lizard Begets Likeness

Jacksonville, FL veterinarians must have been surprised when a father rushed a pet bearded dragon in because of a strange protrusion and then…

“The next thing I knew, I was seeing legs and a body and a head. It was very strange to be tugging on this thing,” he said.

By the time the rubbery lizard’s legs began to appear, Rossi realized what it was.

It was a smaller, plastic lizard. (The lizard had eaten it, of course.)

Geocaching For Coke

Criminals say the darndest things.

Leroy Carr kept crossing the border with a GPS and a ton of cash. This got the interest of US officials, but…

…Carr refused to speak with Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents, and they let him go — until he called to ask if they had seen his cocaine.

Interesting tactic. Of course, it starts to make sense when you realize that there were some pretty angry people who thought he had stolen the cocaine for himself.

Not-Judge-Ito Disses Simpson

When it’s tough to get a quotation from a notable person, why not just get an outrageous quotation from a person who kinda sorta looks like that notable person?

TMZ was a little too quick in posting a video that supposedly showed Judge Ito calling O.J. guilty. Isn’t that the kind of thing you’d want to get confirmation on before broadcasting it? Nah!

The confused, random, haphazard revolution will be confusedly, randomly and haphazardly televised.

Americans Suck at Hygiene

This makes me very sad. America, for years you have enjoyed making hygiene jokes about Europeans. You know what I mean: calling them “smelly” and such.

Well, the CDC reports that only 77% of Americans in a recent study were found to wash their hands in public restrooms. That’s down 6% from 2005. When asked in a phone survey, 92% of adults say they wash their hands, so it appears that the vast majority of people know they should be washing their hands.

Who is brining down the numbers? Well, men are.

Men were the biggest offenders, with just 66 percent of men seen washing their hands in public bathrooms, compared with 88 percent of the women, according to study presented at the Interscience Conference on Antimicrobial Agents and Chemotherapy meeting in Chicago.

“Very clearly, guys need to step up to the sink,” said Brian Sansoni, a spokesman for the soap industry group, told reporters. “One third of guys weren’t washing their hands in public restrooms. That’s gross.”

Wait — this study was paid for by Big Soap? The Soap Lobby? Uh-oh.

In any case, hang around a men’s room long enough and you’ll see that hand-washing is far from a universal virtue in men. Ask Larry Craig and he’ll tell you. Think about that the next time you shake hands with a guy. Or touch anything in your office.

Look, people. When you go into a public restroom, I don’t care what your business is in there but you are likely to touch a surface with germs on it. WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE YOU LEAVE! It’s not rocket science. WTF!!?!?!?

Hide In The Sausage

I’ve heard of “hide the sausage” but…

Staff at a German butcher’s shop were shocked to discover a customer had hidden two sex toys in their sausages for transport to Dubai, police said on Wednesday.

A shop assistant got suspicious when the guy asked him to wrap the sausages and he noticed they were heavier than they ought to have been. Authorities took over.

I wonder if they gave the guy a phone call or just waited for the customer to return to the shop? In either case, the police had some advice:

“He could have used a loaf of bread,” the spokesman said.

To protect and serve.

BONUS UPDATE!

The Best Buy Cops

I had to include this story about what happened to a fellow who tried to leave Best Buy with his loan application. He was worried that they would discard the application after he changed his mind about the loan. It had his SSN on it and he is a security expert.

When he left with the loan application, Best Buy called the police on him. They were waiting for him when he got home. Yay, Best Buy!

Posted by James at September 20, 2007 7:29 AM
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Comments

This is an interesting example, one step up from the lately popular (but stupid) act of taking a purchase out the door but refusing to show your receipt.

To begin with, the application was bought and paid for by Best Buy so the paper (and likely the pen and the ink) are all the property of Best Buy. You could probably make a pretty good case that the labor and specific personal information on the app was the property of the potential applicant (hereinafter the customer). The customer could have saved himself (and the city and the store) a lot of trouble and expense if he either destroyed his personal information with the aforementioned pen instead of taking (e.g. making off with) Best Buy's paper (the application).

Posted by: Thane Eichenauer at September 29, 2007 8:11 AM

Oh wow, I guess no one ever thought of it that way. Or maybe it's just a stupid eff-ing piece of paper.

A piece of eff-ing paper.

Well, I spent too much effort on this response (me, my or I hereinafter) and feel as though you have stolen my extremely valuable time. And you don't have a receipt to prove you bought my time. I will be calling the police.

Posted by: Derek at September 29, 2007 4:48 PM

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