September 27, 2007

Whales Talk French Thursday

Fired for a Scientific Answer

When an instructor said in class that you can’t take the story of Adam and Eve literally, some Christian students complained to the school that this was offensive to their religion. Subsequently, the instructor was fired from Southwestern Community College in Iowa.

“As a taxpayer, I’d like to know if a tax-supported public institution of higher learning has given veto power over what can and cannot be said in its classrooms to a fundamentalist religious group,” he said. “If it has … then the taxpaying public of Iowa has a right to know. What’s next? Whales talk French at the bottom of the sea?”

“Whales Talk French”? I like how he slipped a “WTF” into the story.

Store Owner Says Men Hypnotized Him Into Giving Them Cash

This guy is actually claiming that thieves pulled a Jedi mind trick on him and made him hand over the contents of the cash register without violence. No kidding.

Storeowner Yogesh Patel, 29, who is also from India, said that he had heard of the scam but never believed it and never thought it could happen to him. He said he’s now upset and embarrassed.

Just plain bizarre.

Candidate of the Klepto Party

Carlos Felix, A local community activist who unsuccessfully ran for city council was arrested for shoplifting tools from Sears in Dartmouth, MA. He claims to be a kleptomaniac and that he’s denied himself marijuana after being arrested for possession in last year — but that the pot was helping him deal with his anxiety and klepto urges. A loss prevention officer says he confronted the man outside the store, but Felix has a different description of events.

Mr. Felix said he never left the store. He said he was going “in and out” out of the door, struggling with his impulses. “I was fighting my demons,” he said.

Baseball Interruptus

I actually got a breaking news story from my New York Times email subscription to tell me that the Yankees have clinched the wildcard. For the record, I only want an email alert when something bad happens to the Yankees.

Pour Your Own Drinks, Ladies

That’s the lesson I’m getting from the story about this creep, formerly of New Bedford, MA, who was arrested in Florida after a woman blacked out for a day and a half and woke up without her underwear. The creep was apprehended with a number of pictures of other women, some of which looked unconscious and some of which may have been from Massachusetts.

Ugh. Just… ugh.

You Want Chemicals With That?

What do you do when you’re in the drive-through and you can’t your drinks for 69 cents because the drink promotion is over? Why, you spray the cashier with noxious chemicals, of course. A number of questions:

  • A McDonald’s 69 cent drink promotion? Really?
  • WTF pepper spraying the cashier? (obviously)
  • The person in the passenger seat was “dressed as a black woman” — what’s that mean? Not a “black person dressed as a woman”?
  • And WTF possibly cross-dressing red-white-and-blue-haired pepper spray drive-through hooligans?

I give up.

Posted by James at September 27, 2007 9:03 AM
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Comments

Excusez-moi, M. Cousteau. Avez-vous un krill?

Posted by: briwei at September 27, 2007 10:59 AM

"I just thought there was such a thing as academic freedom here," [said the instructor, Steve Bitterman]. "From my point of view, what they're doing is essentially teaching their students very well to function in the eighth century."

Amen. Let's remember that his remarks were in a a western civilization class.

If you want to believe in stories like Adam and Eve (but not Adam and Steve, right?), have at it, but please don't look to history or science to lend support to your beliefs. I don't read about Zeus and then expect a Western Civ. prof. to tell me he really existed and that yes, the chaining of Prometheus to Mount Olympus did in fact happen.

(I shall not go in to the "discussion" I had with a respected colleague about his assertion that the ten commandments "is a historical document.")

Posted by: Patti M. at September 27, 2007 12:34 PM

Regarding the drinks and the unconsciousness, this dirtbag probably used something like the prescription Xyrem (aka gamma-hydroxybutyrate or GHB) or Rohypnol. He might have used Ketamine, a horse tranquilizer currently favored by Amy Winehouse, sadly (and cocaine and Ecstasy and marijuana). She's lucky she's not dead.

Anyway, back to date rape drugs.

These are colorless, odorless, tasteless central nervous system depressants (Xyrem is used to treat narcolepsy) used illegally as "recreational" drugs. The Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) as a “date rape” drug.

This is why, when out "on the town," one should never ever ever leave one's drink unattended, and I mean never. Take your drink to the bathroom with you, if you have to go. These substances are liquid or easily dissolve in liquid, so you'd never know it's in your drink.

See the "risk reduction strategies" in a document from the University of Washington: http://www.washington.edu/students/saris/office/Substances.html

See also this document on date rape drugs from the HHS: http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/rohypnol.htm

Makes me glad I'm not out in clubs anymore.

Posted by: Patti M. at September 27, 2007 1:03 PM

Briwei - only one tiny little shrimp? What is the whale on a diet? :)

Posted by: Kitten Herder at September 27, 2007 1:57 PM

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