January 14, 2008

Wesley Snipes is a Nutfudge

If you enjoy nuttiness from the likes of Mel Gibson and Ton Cruise, but are getting sick of Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise, try some Wesley Snipes on for size.

I noticed this story in the NYT (thanks Reddit!) which mentions that Snipes is a tax resister.

That means that Snipes doesn’t pay his taxes, but believes he’s right not to pay his taxes. He has some goofy belief that nobody actually has to pay taxes and that we all just do it for the entertainment value.

But, even better than that, check out this shizz:

His involvement with the tax resistance movement may stem from his association with the Nuwaubians, a quasi-religious sect of black Americans who promote antigovernment theories and who set up a headquarters in Georgia in the early 1990s.

These suckers are organized! Promoting antigovernment theories must be a fun job, and making it quasi-religious means people will be reluctant to criticize you. Well, unless you’ve forgotten you’re in America and failed to somehow link yourself to Christianity. Oops - nope, looks like they’ve gone the New-Agey route. And this isn’t scary:

In 2000, Mr. Snipes sought a federal permit for a military training compound on land next to the Nuwaubian camp; the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms rejected the request.

Mr. Snipes has joined the ranks of Hollywood stars who think they’re actually in one of their own movies.

If you’re considering becoming a Nuwaubian, one of the cool perks is that you get to talk an awesome ancient Egyptian mystery language. This video explains it all.

That way, when you’re training in Wesley Snipe’s “How To Overthrow The Government” (secret, non-government approved) summer camp you know how to tell the other kids in the mess hall “Please pass the Kool Aid.” Isn’t one “Church of Scientology” enough?

Posted by James at January 14, 2008 10:43 AM
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Comments

But I'm of the whitebread surburban persuasion. Can I still join?

Posted by: pippa at January 14, 2008 1:00 PM

One Scientology would be enough, but he probably just doesn't want to wait the requisite time for enlightenment. This way, those enlightenment dollars come to him AND he gets to set policy.

Posted by: briwei at January 14, 2008 2:06 PM

It's very practical. If you're going to pick a religion, pick one that pays *you* and allows you to believe you're an action hero.

Posted by: Maggie at January 14, 2008 3:08 PM

If it's quasi-religious, do you quasi-pick it?

Posted by: James at January 14, 2008 3:15 PM

No. You pick it all the way. You only quasi-believe it.

Posted by: briwei at January 14, 2008 3:50 PM

Get ready for a nut fudge bake-off.

Mel Gibson and Wesley Snipes on how life should be lived and what we should believe: Compare and contrast in 25 words or less.

Go!

Posted by: Patti M. at January 14, 2008 4:05 PM

Here's a nice nut fudge recipe:

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/231749

Posted by: Patti M. at January 14, 2008 4:12 PM

We're all about the food. Unabashedly.

Posted by: James at January 14, 2008 4:19 PM

I have a question: Is it mandatory that, if you're African-American, you have to come up with a pretend African name for your organization, etc.?

Nuwaubian?

From Wikipedia:

Nuwaubianism is an umbrella term for the religious doctrines, historical and scientific beliefs of the followers of Malachi Z. York. These are sometimes referred to by such terms as “Nuwaubu”/“Nuwaupu”, “Wu-Nuwaubu”, “Right Knowledge”, “Sound Right Reasoning”, “Overstanding”, and “Factology” but have had many other names through the years. The Nuwaubians originated as a Black Muslim group in New York in the 1970s, and have gone through many changes since. Eventually, the group established a headquarters in Georgia’s Putnam County in 1993.

The term Nuwaubu derives from the Arabic word “Nubuwa” (نبوة) which means “prophethood” or “prophecy”. It also is related to the Hebrew word “Nebuwah” (נבואה, usually rendered as nevuah), which means “a prediction”, from the root “Nuwb” meaning to bear fruit, or make flourish. The word "Navi (or Nabi) means "Prophet" in Hebrew and is the term used in Hebrew for all of the Prophets. For example Eliyahu HaNavi (Elijah The Prophet). An even older root can be rationalized with the Sumerian word “Nabu” which defines the term “Prophet” (seer).

Posted by: Patti M. at January 14, 2008 4:22 PM

Sounds more mysterious than "Factology."

Every scam has its patter. This one has an African/Egyptian flavor.

Posted by: James at January 14, 2008 4:30 PM

I thought I saw the word "Zambemhotephotep" in there somewhere...

Posted by: Bull at January 14, 2008 6:01 PM

Tall Hat Deadly Hat--wonder if anyone has a copy of that...

Posted by: Patti M. at January 14, 2008 6:05 PM

I'd love a copy of the YoGrego trilogy. I may have to ask Wombat.

Posted by: briwei at January 14, 2008 6:09 PM

Yoder still owes me a cigar for the one he "borrowed" from me at a party.

Posted by: Patti M. at January 14, 2008 6:13 PM

That needs to be YouTubified. Stat.

Posted by: James at January 14, 2008 6:16 PM

Did anybody read that entire wikipedia entry? I don't think I've ever seen such a collection of nutfudgery in my life -- it's like an amalgamation of the most bizarre, creative beliefs -- we're all twins originally, bury the afterbirth or aliens will make clones of you -- some aborted fetuses roam the sewers -- it's crazy!! I mean, really extra crazy!

Posted by: Maggie at January 14, 2008 7:31 PM

I will now...that sounds sick!

Is Steve Martin's "King Tut" their "national anthem"?

Posted by: Bull at January 14, 2008 9:23 PM

Well this is interesting:

"[Leader of the Nuwaubians Malachi (nee Dwight)] York taught that the Motherplane/NIBIRU would launch the Crystal City or New Jerusalem (see: Book of Revelation 21:2) to our solar system from its position in Orion. A 40-year process of taking the 144,000 Chosen Few (see: Book of Revelation 14:1) — 12,000 each from the Twelve Tribes of Israel — into the Planet Craft NIBIRU began on 12 August 2003 and will end on 12 August, 2043."

And all this time I thought it was the Jehovahs who had a lock on the 144,000. It's so hard to keep all these fringe religious groups straight.

Lots of the stuff this group believes in sounds like a lot of B movies and bad sci fi books, some of which I've seen and read. To wit:

"York told his followers that in 1952, grotesque extraterrestrial Andromedeans that resembled the Predator met with and frightened U.S. President Harry S. Truman. Other extraterrestrials have been trading with Earth since the Eisenhower administration, and are responsible for giving us technologies ranging from the polio vaccine to the hula hoop. Earth is said to still be visited by extraterrestrials, some of which prey on human children."

"The Earth is hollow and contains cities populated by different species of people..."

And the best sci fi movie idea of them all: "Furthermore, some aborted fetuses survive their abortion to live in the sewers, where they are being gathered and organized to take over the world."

I'll be this has been in a movie, I just don't know about it. This bit reminds me of "The Brood", a really bad sci fi movie I once endured (see http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078908/).

Posted by: Patti M. at January 15, 2008 7:47 AM

They may sound crazy, but... wait, there is no "but." They're crazy.

Posted by: James at January 15, 2008 9:49 AM

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