March 12, 2008

Once Around the News

A Man Named Tuesday

Sorry, I didn't get past the first sentence of this story. I've heard of a woman named Tuesday, but never a man named Tuesday.

A man named Tuesday as a person of interest in the disappearance of a Hilton Head Island, South Carolina, couple appears to have committed suicide, authorities said.

OK. it was early in the morning.

Gilligan's High-land

Dawn Wells, of Gilligan's Island fame as castaway Mary Ann, was busted on posession of marijuanna. I struggled with the headline. Mary Ann's Mary Jane? Both are groaners.

Cat Bounty

Both in the sense that there are too many of them and in the sense that people are being encourage to collect them up and deliver them to the authorities. If you need some extra cash, and like to herd cats, head on over to Randolph, Iowa. It's $5 per cat.

Local News of the Weird

Stabby Abduction

A man kidnapped his ex-girlfriend at knifepoint, abducting her from Somerset to Fall River. OK, Fall River's got its problems, but it's not so bad that you have to start abducting people to boost the population!

In any case, here's an important safety tip for would-be-abductees. NEVER LET ANYONE COERCE YOU INTO A CAR. Not with a knife or a gun or anything. If they're thretening to stab or shoot you, it's not like getting into the car is going to improve your situation. Because now you can be driven somewhere a lot more advantageous to your attacker. And that's not a good thing for the abductee. Tell your friends.

Video Game Violence

A dispute over whether the kids should play video games turns ugly.

A 57-year-old Chace Street grandmother was allegedly assaulted by her 31-year-old daughter after the daughter discovered that the grandmother had let her grandchildren play video games while she and her husband baby-sat.

If you think video games are bad for your kids, wait until you see the statistics on the effect of havng your mother beat up your grandmother. (Hint: mom-on-granny violence is a a decent predictor for showing up on the Jerry Springer show). No word on whether it was the violence in video games that had caused the mother to ban them, or whether the kids had simply given them up for Lent.

Posted by James at March 12, 2008 8:41 AM
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Yeah, the "don't get into the car" advice is good. Although its a lot easier to say it when you're, say, not being held at gunpoint or knifepoint.

But it reminds me of something I read years ago about how most people - including most criminals - are horrible shots with a pistol, so your best bet is just to run. Apparently if you're more than 8 feet away your chance of getting seriously wounded by a gunshot drops really low.

Posted by: David Grenier at March 12, 2008 9:41 AM

Some years ago, when Gilligan got busted for receiving a package of the stuff in WV, there was reason to believe that Mary Ann had ordered it on his behalf. However, I guess there wasn't enough proof, and/or the police where she lived in CA couldn't be bothered with it for the amount of stuff involved.

Posted by: Julie at March 12, 2008 10:19 AM

David- I think you're right about the horribly innacurate part. It's apparently difficult to hit someone from a distance with a pistol even if you're a trained shot. The 8 ft. part seems awfully close though. I would agree at maybe 20' or more but it would seem to me pretty much anyone could hit you from 8' away. Also you better be sure it's a pistol and not some kind of automatic they can spray you with. Of course if you are having a gun held against you the getting 8' away part could be tricky in and of itself.

Posted by: B.O.B. (bob) at March 12, 2008 10:38 AM

I think the point is that you need to do what you can to get away, because if they're going to stuff you into a car otherwise, you really don't have much to lose.

Posted by: Julie at March 12, 2008 11:01 AM

Yes, get away. The advice I've heard is "don't worry about getting hurt," because once you get in the car, you're dead. So push the knife away with your bare hand, whatever. Getting cut is better than what he's going to do to you if you get in the car. You should run, and don't run straight. But the advice I heard was based on a person pulling up to you with a car (which has happened to me twice, running -- no guns or knives though) and not based on the person being your ex-boyfriend and grabbing you and choking you when you resisted, which was the situation here. Still, I think the "don't worry about getting hurt" advice is the best, and she probably should have dropped to the ground and screamed "911." If possible. Hindsight is always 20/20.

On the video games brawl, the kids were being punished and that's why they weren't allowed video games. Lucky gramma got to babysit them in that state. If they're little video heads, they're probably monsters who can't entertain themselves without their toy.

Posted by: Maggie at March 12, 2008 6:50 PM

Bob and David: Move - fast - laterally as well as longitudinally. When adrenaline is pumping and shooter and target are moving, you can empty a handgun at someone from 5 feet away and miss by miles. It's actually fairly common. Even the "trained" people have problems because most "training" emphasizes control and safety and not "realistic" conditions. And if your moving gets the "shooter" moving well then, so much the better for you. Basically, take advantage of the other person's nervousness/adrenaline because he/she is almost definitely experiencing it as well. Cop and action movies have done a great job of stylizing gunfights and creating misperceptions.

And if I had known Mary Ann was a party girl back when I was seven...

Posted by: Bull at March 13, 2008 8:58 AM

This advice sounds similar to that given by Peter Falk's character to Alan Arkin's character in "The In-laws":

"Serpentine! Serpentine!"

Posted by: Patti M. at March 13, 2008 12:54 PM

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