May 1, 2008

Goat Diapering Update

I would be shirking my duty to you, dear reader, if I did not pass the knowledge on to you as soon as new information about goat diapering reaches my ears*.

I was first introduced to goat diapering when we had a petting zoo birthday party on a rainy day, and the nice lady diapered the goat so that we wouldn't have as big a cleanup job in our exercise room.

I have learened that not only is goat diapering popular in Iraq, but Islamist extremists are murdering Iraqis for failing to diaper their goats. They're not worried about cleanup; these are outdoor goats, after all. They're worried about modesty. They believe that un-diapered goats are too much of a sexual enticement to good muslim men. In other words, when a man has sex with a goat, it's the goat's fault.

But faulting the goat makes no sense, right? Goats can't diaper themselves. Clearly it's the fault of the guy who failed to put a diaper on the goat. And retribution is swift and absolute: death comes to those who fail to diaper their goats.

My source is this NPR story. Iraq Still Manages to Shock by John Hendren.

Hat tip to Heretical Ideas blog for bringing this to my attention.

[* New to this blog? We were, at one time, Number One in Goat Diapering because of a post "I believe in Goats" about a petting zoo we had in our house.

If that's not enough of a blast-from-the-past, I bring you the unrelated Great Buntloaf Incident of 2005. Maggie and I are overdue to host a dinner party. We have pictures, but the bundtloaf recipe has been lost to the ages.]

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Posted by James at May 1, 2008 9:27 AM
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I swear I sent this story to you ages ago. No I am confused.

Posted by: Patti M. at May 1, 2008 10:48 AM

You know, it did sound familiar. But I couldn't find any reference to it on my blog or in my email archives.

But I believe you if you say you sent it to me, because that would explain the vague sense of familiarity.

Hat tip to Patti!

Posted by: James at May 1, 2008 11:22 AM

There was no recipe as such, was the problem. I remember some of the ingredients, but a lot of them were spontaneous additions as you searched through that cabinet. :)

Posted by: Julie at May 1, 2008 11:25 AM

OMG you're serious.

Posted by: Maggie at May 1, 2008 11:47 AM

Wow. I don't know how I missed that; this morning on NPR the only Iraq story I heard was the one about the businessman planning a skateboard park and giving away skateboards to Iraqis. Because who needs reliable electricity or silly stuff like that when you could have skateboards. (Maybe if you have a skateboard you can get away from the guys chasing you to kill you for not diapering your goat?)

Posted by: mjfrombuffalo at May 1, 2008 1:44 PM

Well, it's actually a story from 2006. That's how you missed it. :)

Timely reportage here on Aces Full.

Posted by: James at May 1, 2008 2:16 PM

I heard that story on NPR this morning, about the entrepreneur who plans to build a mixed use entertainment/residential area in Baghdad. It was described in the story as a 500 million dollar, 50-acre, Disney-style water park park with hotels and development. Listening to the Los Angeles entrepreneur pitch the "sex appeal" and "sizzle" to the Iraqis, all I could picture in my mind was that it was really Woody Allen in one of his movies.

You can listen to it yourself here:

He talked about building skateboard ramps and giving out thousands of free skateboards to capture the interest of Iraqis who have no concept of the skateboard. Lucky them. Perhaps I could ship over my neighbor's kid (for keeps) who is now over 19 and still jumping up and down on a skateboard.

ANYway, when he said, "More people will come to this complex than you can ever imagine, once it catches on," I said to the radio, "and that will make for an easy target for bombers and result in lots of deaths."

Posted by: Patti M. at May 1, 2008 2:24 PM

You sound just like one of those people who scoffed at "Mission Accomplished" 5 years ago.

Where are your rose-colored glasses? Oh, that's right we had to sell them to pay for the freaking war.

Posted by: James at May 1, 2008 2:38 PM

Speaking of "Mission Accomplished," did you hear the news this morning?

Today marks 5 years since President Shit-for-Brains stood on that ship and declared "mission accomplished."

Today, it was announced that what he really meant is that it was the USS Abraham Lincoln's mission that had been accomplished.

Ohhhhhhh. Took you five years to spin that, did it?

"President Bush is well aware that the banner should have been much more specific and said 'mission accomplished' for these sailors who are on this ship on their mission," White House press secretary Dana Perino said Wednesday. "And we have certainly paid a price for not being more specific on that banner. And I recognize that the media is going to play this up again tomorrow, as they do every single year."

Why you lying little bitch. Yes, honey, go ahead and blame a) the banner and b) "the media."

F off.

Posted by: Patti M. at May 1, 2008 2:56 PM

Wait - the story used to be that the banner wasn't their fault, that they weren't involved.

Glad to see they finally triangulated a new answer.

Posted by: James at May 1, 2008 4:05 PM

I'm amazed that they're still thinking about the banner, even though it's the least of the things they're being criticized for.

Oh - I see she specifically invited the media to "play it up." I hope the media ignores it and talk about something significant instead. The banner barely deserves a mention on the Daily Show, let alone the real news.

Posted by: Julie at May 1, 2008 5:45 PM

"President Bush is well aware that the banner should have been much more specific and said 'mission accomplished' for these sailors who are on this ship on their mission."

Dana is mistaken, not that this would stop the lackeys of President Shit-for-Brains. He was not referring to the sailors on the USS Abraham Lincoln, he was referring to the inaptly named operation "Operation Iraqi Freedom."

See, I went on the interweb, cast my internets, and found his remarks, which are still available on the White House website, much to the chagrin of Dana and company, I am sure.

President Bush Announces Major Combat Operations in Iraq Have Ended
Remarks by the President from the USS Abraham Lincoln
At Sea Off the Coast of San Diego, California

Posted by: Patti M. at May 2, 2008 9:07 AM

Yet the war on the American middle class had only gotten started.

Posted by: James at May 2, 2008 9:10 AM

To be followed in about six months from now by the War on Christmas.

Posted by: Patti M. at May 2, 2008 9:30 AM

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