May 5, 2008

Happy "Drink Like A"

Happy Drink Like a Mexican Day!

Having survived "Drink Like an Irishman Day!" (the exclamation point is part of the name) you are now in the midst of "Drink Like a Mexican Day!"

In the interest of being a more fair and balanced society, the government is renaming all holidays to more accurately reflect their observance, and offer guidance to the would-be reveler. I offer you a table with the provisional new names of various holidays.

St. Patrick's Day

Old Name New Name
St. Patrick's Day Drink Like an Irishman Day!
Cinco de Mayo Drink Like a Mexican Day!
Passover Drink Like a Jew Day!
Eid ul-Fitr Drink Like a Muslim Day!
Easter Drink Like a Christian Day!
Columbus Day Drink Like and Italian Day!
Bastille Day Drink Like a Frenchman Day!
Thanksgiving Day Drink Like a Puritan Day!
Patriot's Day Drink Like a Continental Soldier Day!
Memorial Day Drink Like a Union/Confederate Soldier Day!
Labor Day Drink Like You're Unemployed Day!
Valentine's Day Drink Like the Brokenhearted Day!
President's Day Drink Like George W. Bush Is Going To Drink As Soon As He Gets Out of Office Day!
Martin Luther King Day Drink Like It's Your Civil Right Day!
Independence Day Drink Like an American Day
Halloween Drink Like You Just Saw a Ghost Day!
Mardi Gras Drink Like There's No Tomorrow Day!

Suggestions for additional days welcome in the comments.

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Posted by James at May 5, 2008 9:13 AM
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Any suggestions for "Drink Like an Atheist Day!"?

Or does the old adage hold: "All liquored up and no place to go."

Posted by: James at May 5, 2008 9:21 AM

All Saints Day, the day after Halloween.

Posted by: Mike at May 5, 2008 9:43 AM

Thought the day after Halloween was All Souls Day, and All Saints comes a week later on November 8?

No matter. Just make sure you don't drive after all that drinking! :-)

Posted by: Chuck S. at May 5, 2008 12:10 PM

Nope actually, you are right, my bad. All Souls comes after All Saints, not the oter way around. :-)

Posted by: Chuck S. at May 5, 2008 12:12 PM

What's really funny is that here in Mexico cinco de mayo, although a holiday, is nothing, not a big deal at all. AT ALL.

We don't go out, or party, or do anything special :P

However, anyday is good to drink like a Mexican so, Happy Drink like a Mexican Day! I hope you're drinking either Tequila or Corona ;)

Posted by: alice at May 5, 2008 8:25 PM

Some suggestions (Days in parens)...

Feb 2 (Groundhog Day): Drink like Bill Murray day!

Feb 3 (National Patient Recognition): Drink like you're bed-ridden day!

Apr 15: Drink that refund day!

Jun 18 (Go Fishing): Drink like a fish day! (yeah, low-hanging fruit I know)

Oct 8 (Emergency Nurses): Drink yourself into the ER day!

And who the f*&# knew there were so many damned recognition days?

Posted by: Bull at May 5, 2008 9:44 PM

June 14 - Flag day - drink like you're gravely disappointed in your nation's leadership.

Posted by: Julie at May 5, 2008 10:43 PM

EASTER? You gave Christians EASTER??? Not exactly a big drinking holiday, at least not in this Presbyterian's experience. Christmas much more likely to have a lot of alcohol involved :)

NYTimes on Cinco de Mayo and consumerism (specifically beer):

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/05/opinion/05mon4.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=cinco+de+mayo&st=nyt&oref=slogin

mj

Posted by: mjfrombuffalo at May 6, 2008 10:39 AM

Oh, and since you have Drink Like a Muslim Day, don't forget Founder's Day for Drink Like a Mormon Day. :D

Posted by: mjfrombuffalo at May 6, 2008 10:41 AM

Easter is the resurrection, that's more in line with drinking. I know that if I rose from the dead 3 days later, I'd celebrate.

It's not appropriate to get drunk at a baby's birthday party. And besides, the only really Christian thing about Christmas is the name. It's not a Christian holiday.

Posted by: James at May 6, 2008 11:11 AM

Understanding the intended humor of the thread...

Every day should be "drink like you're gravely disappointed in your nation's leadership" day.

I'd rather use Flag day to drink like everyone who has ever received a folded flag in lieu of a loved one.

Posted by: Bull at May 6, 2008 12:46 PM

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