January 16, 2009

Name That Disease

There are people out there who are so pissed off we elected Barack Obama that it's already driven them over the edge.

Take this lady, for example. She is so obsessed with the idea that the new Pepsi logo looks like the Obama logo (which she calls "the creepiest symbol in this new century") and so disturbed that Pepsi is trying to appeal to young people who are filled with optimism about having a chance to be involved in changing their country for the better that she's going to stop drinking her favorite soft drink.

Not because it's unhealthy. Not because of some social injustice. Not even because she can no longer afford it. Just because shes driven to distraction by Barack. Hussein. Obama.

During the Bush years, slob blog media had a nickname for what they saw as an unhealthy fixation with Bush. They called it "Bush Derangement Syndrome." It caught on with the 3% of the American public who judge the health of the economy by whether or not Twinkies and SUVs are still being manufactured. These are the people who, if you offer them a coffee will throw it back at you if you call it a latte or an espresso. Because, you know, Americans invented good, honest, hardworking joe1.

Unfortunately, "Bush Derangement Syndrome" was not catchy enough to spread to the general public, who were busy dealing with the more dire "Bush Screwed Us Big-Time Syndrome." While "Bush Derangement Syndrome" is a made up disease whose symptoms were mostly seen only in its observers (such as: hives at any criticism of George W. Bush) "Bush Screwed Us Big-Time Syndrome" is widespread with real-world symptoms such as job loss, the declining dollar, lack of access to health care, a neglected educational system and a gutting of our scientific infrastructure.

But now we have a new disease to deal with as tens of Joe-the-Plumber-Wannabees pick on everything Obama does. And we're going to need a name for this disease.

Some symptoms are already apparent:

  • nonsensical boycotts of products that remind them of Obama
  • over-the-top sarcastic nicknames for Obama like "redeemer" or "messiah"
  • selective memory loss of events between Jan 2001 and Jan 2009
  • blaming Obama for any of the mess he inherited

And more will be discovered as time goes on. But it needs a name, and that's where I need your help. Let's have some suggestions. The more suggestions the better. We have to know what to call this new medical condition.

Here are some of my suggestions to start us off. Feel free to riff on them.

  • Adult Onset Obama Fixation
  • Baracknaphobia (stolen from the Daily Show)
  • Obamanoia
    • Obamanoid Schizophrenia
    • Obamanoid Psychosis
  • Delusional Barakitosis
  • Chronic Infantile Baraxysm

Then, of course, there are the names which indicate that the problem is larger than just one obsession. Sometimes the craziness is not just about Obama. So, we also have:

  • Mad NeoCon Disease
  • Post-Republican Traumatic Disorder

Help me out! Please give me your suggestions.

[1] Oops, coffee was not invented by Americans. Arabs were drinking it back in the 10th century CE. While they were doing their algebra. And, come to think of it, some Christians decided to ban that drink because they saw it as pagan and Muslim. Such forward-thinking folks! If only they'd had Diet Pepsi, they probably would have declared the logo to be an Islamic crescent.

Posted by James at January 16, 2009 9:37 AM
Create Social Bookmark Links

I've just been calling it "dumbness," but perhaps that's unkind.

For whatever it's worth, every involuntary job loss I've ever experienced took place during a Bush administration.

Farewell to him and his lackeys. I hope I never see or hear of them again in my life after Tuesday.

Posted by: Julie at January 16, 2009 2:07 PM

Me too! (On the involuntary job losses)

Posted by: James at January 16, 2009 2:24 PM

Actually, I think i *have* Post-Republican Traumatic Disorder. That's a variant of the Bush Screwed Us Big-Time Syndrome. I'm still reeling from the last 8 years.

I'm having trouble coming up with anything better than your offerings. I think I like Baraknophobia the best, thus far. I'll keep thinking.

Posted by: briwei at January 16, 2009 3:00 PM

Copyright © 1999-2007 James P. Burke. All Rights Reserved