February 2, 2009

25 Things Not About Me

There's an Internet meme1 going around Facebook called "25 things" I've gotten tagged with it, and I will probably do it. Because, it's something you do for your friends. As much as a I pretend to hate being tagged by these things, it's nice to be included. But I don't delude myself into believing that people are actually losing sleep over whether I do them.

I don't feel like doing the 25 things right this second. Instead, I will have some fun with the 25 things.

These are based on the 25 Things of a number of strangers, either lifted directly or completely made up. Most of these are probably the natural result of human nature. I'm thinking of stealing a couple for my list, especially the one about forest animals.

25 Random Things!

Boring Things

  • I have 4 loads of laundry on my floor.
  • I ate 4 scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast, but to reduce the fat I threw away one of the egg yolks before I scrambled them.
  • My car is messy.

Things I Hope Will Make You Jealous

  • Believe it or not, I prefer to drive my Lexus rather than my Jaguar. I don't know why!!!!
  • I love my job! I don't understand why people stay in jobs they don't like.

Self-Promotional Things

  • I have science that can tell you how to get people to click your links. Just click my links and you'll find out!
  • Fascinatingly, I've been told I'm a great lover but haven't had sex for the last two years.

Things That Refer To The Previous Thing On The List

  • I was once in a spelling bee and I won by spelling the word "fascinatingly."
  • Ironically, spelling is not even the thing I'm best at.
  • I never tell people what I am actually best at.

Made-Up Things You Have A Chance Of Believing

  • I'd rather stick with my principles than get rich.

Things To Make You Jealous But This Time I'm Trying To Make It Sound Like I'm Not Trying To Make You Jealous

  • I've done the horribly cliched Rome-Venice-Paris-London trip.

Things Someone Else Probably Did Not Want You To Include

  • My wife likes to wear party hats during sex. I never asked her to, but it kinda turns me on. Something to do with New Years.

Things Ever-So-Slightly Embarrassing I Included So It Sounds Like I'm Sharing

  • I once left a store by mistake without paying for a 25-cent piece of gum.

Things You Would Never Have Asked About, But Are Clearly An Issue

  • I am childless by choice
  • I refuse to shave my chest.

Religious Things

  • I bought my purple napkin and white Nike sneakers. Can't wait to drink that spiked vodka this weekend with my bestest pals at cult headquarters!
  • Touching forest animals is my calling, but I would do it even if it weren't.
  • Had to do first communion twice because the first time didn't take.

Things I Shouldn't Admit To

  • I have chronic impetigo, but that hasn't stopped my from using my coworker's phone.
  • I have had sex with people I met on the Internet

Things You Never Wanted To Know, Even If You Were Interested In My List

  • I have a man crush on (insert some unfortunate person here)

Things I Can't Possibly Prove

  • My brownies are way better than yours, or anyone you know.

Things That Will Make You Afraid To Be Around me In The Future

  • I am uncontrollably turned on by (insert some very specific attribute that is obviously a reference to you)
  • When I get the chance, I treat my friends to my epic-length spoken word poetry

So, there you have it. One admission: that was a lot easier than coming up with a real list of 25 things. The challenge of 25 things is to make yourself interesting (who wants to bore his or her friends?) without revealing anything too embarrassing. And whatever you post is on the Internet forever!

1. I know some folks object to the use of the term meme in this way, but you're going to have to live with it, because that's the common usage. Just like nobody ever seems to use "irony" right. But we don't have a good word for it, so people are not encouraged to call it anything else. I specify "Internet meme" to make a distinction.

Posted by James at February 2, 2009 9:59 AM
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That's right. Alanis Morrissette ruined the word irony forever No reason you can't use meme. :)

Posted by: briwei at February 2, 2009 11:23 AM

I read the 25 things of the person who tagged me and I enjoyed them, but I'm sorry, I'm not going to participate... I'm trying to keep Facebook slightly more professional because I'm planning on joining the group for my employer. I enjoyed your 25 things not about you... LOL. Please people, remember, they're NOT about him...

Posted by: Maggie at February 2, 2009 11:48 AM

This proves what I've been telling folks: I am too old for Facebook (in so many ways).

Posted by: Patti M. at February 2, 2009 11:50 AM

Oh, come on, Maggie. It's okay. Tell us who he has the man crush on.

Posted by: briwei at February 2, 2009 12:39 PM

Excellent. In a similar vein: http://www.yankeepotroast.org/archives/2009/02/25_facts_about.html
Me, I'm going to wait until I've been tagged 25 times and then just post a list of the 25 people who've tagged me.

Posted by: Karen at February 2, 2009 4:05 PM

C'mon, you know mine was the best.

Posted by: David Grenier at February 2, 2009 4:43 PM

BriWei - I'm thinking Tim Roth.

Posted by: Patti M. at February 2, 2009 7:27 PM

Whoops that was me.

Posted by: B.O.B.(bob) at February 2, 2009 7:28 PM

thank God none of those were me.....

Posted by: lynn at February 5, 2009 3:20 PM

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