April 29, 2009

Don't Mess With Texas!

Not Rick Perry, but almost as scary.

Sarah Palin's husband was a member of an extremist group that supports Alaskan secession. That was awesome! Secessionists are fine, upstanding Americans who love America so much that they want to stab it with their love-knife. They love the USA in the same way that Mel Gibson loves his wife; in other words they've got a girlfriend who they love even more.

Now we're hearing Texas governor Rick Perry court the attention and support of Texas secessionists. Texas secessionists are people who go to bed at night and when their heads hit the pillow they drift off to the dreamy Republic of Texas. And they hope never to drift back.

How do you court a secessionist? Do you proposition him to show you the size of his manifesto? Perhaps later. But at first you make vague statements of the same type that mobsters make. Let me give you an example:

``We've got a great union. There's absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what might come out of that. But Texas is a very unique place, and we're a pretty independent lot to boot.'' - Rick Perry

TRANSLATION: You've got a really nice union there. A person should really take care of a union like that. It would sure be a shame if something were to, you know, happen to that union.

What is underlying Rick Perry's imprudent verbal emissions which are lapped up by secessionist extremists?

It's that he's worried that the right wing fringe won't show up for his re-election in 2010, especially in the primaries. You see, while the country is a moderate place, on the whole, Republicans are becoming a fringe group. The base is shrinking and becoming both more hard-core in its ideology and angry in its mood. A Republican politician who doesn't play to that crowd is afraid that he will look too reasonable, and thus lose to another candidate who is more willing to play to the base. In Perry's case he has Kay Bailey Hutchinson breathing down his neck.

The most dramatic example of the strain on moderate Republicans is the defection of Senator Arlen Specter (D-Pa.). The fringe will scoff - "He was a RINO (Republican in name only) anyhow." What he is is a moderate conservative. Such an animal has no place in today's Republican party, according to the fringe. So long as that fringe ejects moderates and woos candidates with kooky views, we're going to keep hearing things like this:

"I believe the federal government has become oppressive. I believe it's become oppressive in its size, its intrusion into the lives of its citizens, and its interference with the affairs of our state." - Rick Perry

Rick Perry believes that the federal government is oppressive, unless it's lending support for hurricane recovery, border protection, or anti-flu drugs.

Posted by James at April 29, 2009 8:58 AM
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Comments

Wow- Rick Perry actually did something to make me loathe him even more than I already did. Texas is filled with nice normal folk, and then there's Perry. Bah. And I still haven't forgiven him for beating Kinky.

Posted by: Cindy at April 29, 2009 12:42 PM

Perry is acting like a politician.

Posted by: James at April 29, 2009 1:10 PM

So secede already.

All hat and no cattle.

Posted by: Patti M. at April 29, 2009 6:01 PM

The government has become huge and oppressive...I'm betting it wasn't 100 days ago.

Posted by: Bull at April 29, 2009 10:32 PM

A government big enough to protect/manage a country this big comes with some serious downsides. We were kinda warned.

Posted by: James at April 29, 2009 11:20 PM

I have to move here soon...
DUAL CITIZENSHIP UNLESS PANDEMICS OCCUR!

Posted by: Derek at April 29, 2009 11:46 PM

You're messing with Texas.

Posted by: James at April 30, 2009 11:44 AM

I know the job can't be done by anything but a big government...shoulda' put a #sarcasm tag on my post...

Posted by: Bull at May 1, 2009 9:08 AM

Nah, there is a legitimate discussion to be had over the size of government. I just don't think secession or empty threats of secession by elected officials and their associates it the answer.

Even when Bush was at his worst I can't imagine our elected officials in Massachusetts playing up the idea of breaking off from the union.

On the other hand, it is a widespread hobby in Quebec to talk that way...

Posted by: James at May 1, 2009 10:05 AM

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