May 12, 2009

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

So let's chew up some news and spit it out.

Obama Aid Resigns Over "Air Force One" Scandal

This is what passes for a scandal nowadays. If annoying and scaring people while being paid by the government is such a big deal, why is Dick Cheney still a free man?

When you make the president angry and screw up in public, it makes sense that your days are numbered. Louis Caldera will no longer lead the White House Military Office. This is a sharp contrast to the last administration in which a screw up would merit you kudos, or the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Accountability? How refreshing. The birthers and their ilk can move on to their next hysterical complaint.

Subsidized Breasts

Stupidest story of the morning: pretty much anything about Carrie Prejean. You decide. The Miss USA pageant apparently paid for her breast implants. Why? to "put her in the best possible confidence in order to present herself in the best possible light on a national stage." Apparently, the best possible confidence = fake bewbs. Simplified, a narrow conception of beauty is that which inspires confidence. Brilliant.

I wonder if that confidence translates into courage when you're having to fight off questions that were sent to you directly from Satan? Perhaps bewbs are a radio for SPEAKING TO GOD!

More Catholic Than the Pope?

Patti sent along this story, explaining how National Right To Life Committee supporters are incensed that the Catholic Church is taking a moderate view of Obama, supporting his invitation to speak at Notre Dame's commencement. "Why hast thou abandoned me???"

"This restrained view contrasts with charges that Obama is the 'most radical pro-abortion president in history,'" Dionne writes. He notes that although the "consternation on the right over the Vatican article was immediate," many "[r]ank-and-file Catholics do not share in the conservatives' gloominess."

Once again, we have a vocal, radical minority who are holier than thou to the extent that they can't even handle the president speaking at a graduation ceremony. Meanwhile, the Pope just can't seem to make anyone happy these days, even when he's trying to honor those who died in the Holocaust.

China Alarmed By Spread of Swine Flu

They're quarantining people who have visited the US, so they're still in "containment" mode. Don't they have bloggers in China to tell everyone that any reaction to flu is an overreaction?

What boring news this Tuesday.


On the happy side, Roxana Saberi has been released. It's important to note that the reason she was jailed is so that you will conclude that Iran is evil and that we shouldn't talk to them. You see, there are people in Iran who think they should engage with the west and there are hard-liners who try to convince their countrymen that America is the biggest evil in the world. The hard-liners, when they're not looking for ways to convince their own people, are looking for ways to make us think we should also giving up talking to Iran. These people are isolationists; they want to be left alone to make Iran as radical as possible. You see how that would be a bad thing, right? So they jail Roxana Saberi after Obama makes overtures to Iran in the hopes that opponents of Obama's diplomacy here in the USA will have more ammunition.

Why was she released? My guess is that moderates in Iran convinced the hard-liners somehow. But her release is surprising, welcome and mysterious.

Posted by James at May 12, 2009 9:02 AM
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Does that mean that if you look directly at the bewbs your face will be melted off?

Posted by: David Grenier at May 12, 2009 9:46 AM

Holy carp, I think it does mean that. If so, don't look at any of the topless photos posted online.

Posted by: James at May 12, 2009 10:16 AM

What a news roundup. We are getting a glut of Carrie Prejean news here because she went to school less than 20 minutes from us.

I love how this has become a 'religious persecution' issue. It has nothing to do with lying at all. There are NO pictures. (picture 1 shows up.) OK. Well, there's ONE. But that's all. (picture 2 shows up)

Just strip her of her crown and let her go back to fighting Satan in her underwear already.

Posted by: briwei at May 12, 2009 11:56 AM

OMG, why didn't anyone correct my typo of "than" as "then." So embarrassing. Yow. I hate that.

Posted by: James at May 12, 2009 1:28 PM

LOL, Bri, "fighting Satan in her underwear." Hey, that's not as easy as it sounds.

Posted by: Maggie at May 12, 2009 3:09 PM

And how he got in her underwear, she'll never know.

Posted by: briwei at May 13, 2009 12:23 AM

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