April 15, 2010

SouthCoast Double Down

There's been outrage here and there over the new KFC Double Down sandwich. Outrage because people are getting fatter and fatter in our country and this is KFC's newest contribution to the party. Though I really think they cannot outdo their Famous Bowls for sheer caloric glory (and symbolic irony, as you shovel a bucket of fat-soaked carbs directly into your bloodstream where it can gently, lovingly accumulate around your pericardium and give your heart a hug).

Sure. Rail about the Double Down. But part of the reason we are outraged is that we know people will love it. And it is a given truth of capitalism that a company is forgiven most any of its sins if it can give the people what it wants. There are interesting ethical consequences. Do corporations have morals? What of "corporate responsibility?" Is it up to the people to deny a company its business if individuals do not agree with the consequences of corporate behavior?

Imagine if we applied that principle to individuals; we could do away with whole swaths of the legal system where punitive issues were considered. It would not be the responsibility of the state to punish individuals if they behaved reprehensibly. If someone rapes, murders, and is generally a nasty person, we'd just say that you can choose to stay away from that person. Life is so simple when you give people the same allowances that we give corporations.

But I digress.

I am here to suggest a regional version of the Double Down. We're not above some local pride in our obesity. So, here you go. The SouthCoast Massachusetts version of the Double Down.

  • fried clams, scallops and calamari
  • a chourico patty
  • lobster newburg topping
  • inside a giant clamcake that has been split in half
  • and "buttered" with hummus.

Included in every order: gift certificate for either a free echocardiogram at Charlton Memorial Hospital or a cholesterol test at the CVS Minute Clinic.

Posted by James at April 15, 2010 4:19 PM
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Washed down with a Coolatta, right?

Posted by: Jef Nickerson at April 15, 2010 4:54 PM

Oh man, that's perfect!

The delicious full fat version.

Posted by: James at April 15, 2010 7:21 PM

I think butter would be a worse topping than hummus, in terms of the type of fat and what it will do to your cholesterol. But if you really want to ruin someone, old-fashioned original recipe margarine with lots of hydrogenated oil is the way to go.

The Double Down is indeed a train wreck calorie-wise, but I wonder how it compares to that burger that has a Krispy Kreme donut as a bun, if you compare protein and other nutrients. (Supposedly a fried chicken patty is fattier than a hamburger patty, but the donut probably makes up the difference.) Though I assume the Double Down would have more sodium, too...

Personally, I think the bun on most of these sandwiches is a waste of calories anyway and I often rip most of the bun off so that I just have a little stub of bread to keep the meat and ketchup off my fingers. So the Double Down doesn't seem quite as evil to me as it should, because it eliminates the bread. Ironic, I know. I'm sure the bread is far more benign than a second fried chicken patty.

(Silly Firefox spellchecker thinks that "donut" is misspelled. It recommends "donuts" as an alternative spelling.)

Posted by: Julie at April 16, 2010 8:06 AM

The hummus was on there for support of local Lebanese cuisine.

And there's already plenty of butter in the newburg.

Posted by: James at April 16, 2010 9:16 AM

Julie: "(Silly Firefox spellchecker thinks that "donut" is misspelled. It recommends "donuts" as an alternative spelling.)"

Clearly, Firefox knows you can't stop at one (ie, a single donut is an impossibility).

Posted by: njkayaker at April 16, 2010 3:56 PM

James, you're talking as if there's such a thing as too much butter!!

LOL, njkayaker. I've definitely been known to put away more than one Krispy Kreme at a time, especially when I lived in a place where they were easy to find. It's a good thing they're harder to come by in these parts, or I'd be in big trouble.

Posted by: Julie at April 17, 2010 11:21 PM

i'm gonna pass on your SouthCoast version as i am not a big seafood guy... but, FWIW, back in the early 90s, the now-defunct Starbucks (bar/restaurant) in Hyannis used to serve up a "CBC" sandwich which was a fried hunk of chicken with bacon and cheddar cheese. it was served on a big-ass bun and my god was it ever good.

Double-Down, I ate the CBC, I knew the CBC, the CBC was a friend of mine. Double-Down, you're no CBC.

Posted by: bigsam27 at April 18, 2010 8:56 PM

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