There's been outrage here and there over the new KFC Double Down sandwich. Outrage because people are getting fatter and fatter in our country and this is KFC's newest contribution to the party. Though I really think they cannot outdo their Famous Bowls for sheer caloric glory (and symbolic irony, as you shovel a bucket of fat-soaked carbs directly into your bloodstream where it can gently, lovingly accumulate around your pericardium and give your heart a hug).
Sure. Rail about the Double Down. But part of the reason we are outraged is that we know people will love it. And it is a given truth of capitalism that a company is forgiven most any of its sins if it can give the people what it wants. There are interesting ethical consequences. Do corporations have morals? What of "corporate responsibility?" Is it up to the people to deny a company its business if individuals do not agree with the consequences of corporate behavior?
Imagine if we applied that principle to individuals; we could do away with whole swaths of the legal system where punitive issues were considered. It would not be the responsibility of the state to punish individuals if they behaved reprehensibly. If someone rapes, murders, and is generally a nasty person, we'd just say that you can choose to stay away from that person. Life is so simple when you give people the same allowances that we give corporations.
But I digress.
I am here to suggest a regional version of the Double Down. We're not above some local pride in our obesity. So, here you go. The SouthCoast Massachusetts version of the Double Down.
fried clams, scallops and calamari
a chourico patty
lobster newburg topping
inside a giant clamcake that has been split in half
and "buttered" with hummus.
Included in every order: gift certificate for either a free echocardiogram at Charlton Memorial Hospital or a cholesterol test at the CVS Minute Clinic.